"Well it's a well known fact, People, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world known as...The Pentaverat...who run everything in the world, including the newspapers..and they meet tri annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado known as...The Meadows." "So who's in this pentaverat?" "The Queen, the Vatican, the Getty's, the Rothschild's and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up...ohhh I hated the colonel with his wee beady eyes and that smug rum soaked face 'ooo...your gonna buy my chicken...oooo'..." "Dad how can you hate--The Colonel?" "Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it for it nightly!! Smart-ass!!!" Now the I will walk my happy self over to take the Colonel's place at this year meeting. It took decades to find the right replacement, and here I am.
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I cook thirty-minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in woodwork, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a plow and a large glass of water, I once single-handily defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious red ants. I plays bluegrass cello, I w courted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Saturdays after feeding the poor, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children and dogs trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish my dining room that evening.
I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; and when I do sleep, I sleep standing up, eyes open. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a leftovers and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Zambia, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Lady Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis Both Dead and alive. I hope you have figured out that most of this is for entertainment only. Will you come and vist me and my friends at Vois.com! I am here to help.
Gary
Vois Gary