Dave Barry :: The place to be

A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE IS ON THE WAY
Ira Loudenback crashed into a total of nine cars before coming to a stop. (Thanks to Cheryl Howard)
FIRST GASOLINE, AND NOW THIS">FIRST GASOLINE, AND NOW THIS
(Thanks to DavCat)
WEATHER REPORT OF LAST MONTH SO FAR
This apparently happened in June. But still. (Thanks to DavCat)
SPORTS UPDATE FROM NEW ZEALAND
Putting the "roots" in Grass Roots Rugby. (Thanks to DavCat)
THAT'S NOWHERE NEAR ENOUGH">THAT'S NOWHERE NEAR ENOUGH
(Thanks to sjhaller)
GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND
Aggressive Cow (Thanks to sjhaller)
WE HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS
Octopus porn. (Send in by all the people you'd expect to send in an item about octopus porn)
CSI: PORT ORCHARD
Incredibly, alcohol may have been involved: When questioned, the suspect admitted to punching his brother-in-law, but did it because the man scratched his neck. He said he was then punched without provocation by three other family members, and said "a...
DESPITE APPEARANCES, HE WAS NOT HAPPY TO SEE THEM
N.H. police: Man had pound of cocaine in his underwear (Thanks to Matt Filar)
PORTUGAL
Land of Tradition (Thanks to RussellMc)
WOW
This story is not funny. But it will be eerily remenis reminise familiar to those of you who were reading this blog back in July, 2003. (Some additional info is here.) (Thanks to Michael Schmitt)
ATTENTION, ALL POPLAR BLUFF UNITS
Approach with extreme caution. (Thanks to Carl and Amy Drees and sjhaller)
TODAY'S SWEDEN UPDATE
Annette Gaudreau, noting the photo chosen to illustrate this story about an American-car show in Sweden, asks: "Do Swedes think American guys sit on cars, basically naked, with a bunch of other, basically naked, guys? Or is that just what...
CSI: KITSAP COUNTY
Four charged in toilet explosion
THE ART COMMUNITY: ON CRACK?
The $2,500 banana. Key Quote: The buyer should not be expecting a superlative piece of fruit in return for $2,500. The bananas Fernandes is using for the display are ordinary, purchased from local supermarkets. Indeed, most days the artist eats...
DUDE
Nice skin. (Thanks to MAC)
OHIO POLITICAL BULLETIN
Governor will use cornhole to fund campaign (Thanks to collins69s)
FASCISM CREEPING BACK INTO IN ITALY
Now they want to take away a man's fundamental human right to shoot his neighbor's underwear. (Thanks to DavCat and Jeff Meyerson)
JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE, THEY SHOULD TASER IT ANYWAY
Police say UFO was just the Moon (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY">HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY