MOLI VIEW™

It's sheer zany coincidence that the same week performance-enhancing drugs take center stage in sports and Congress, I've started a diet that demands I quit sugar. OMG. I've been queasy, achy from head to toe, and lethargic. I've watched friends kick smack, and it at least feels like my current plight is a close relative of theirs. Some moments, I think I might hold up a 7-Eleven, only to get away with a Snickers. Christ. It's the worst ingestion-related misery since I tried to break my six-cup-a-day coffee habit, cold turkey. Yet somehow I've found the wherewithal to steel myself. I just want to know what it's like to be clean.

Absolutely horrific, though at least the experience has made me think very hard about the drugs that are part of our everyday lives. We really don't think about the substances that we get an artificial buzz from, that make each generation of Westerner bigger, etc. Eating at Wendy's is kinda like playing in the MLB back in the 1990s; we juice with just a modicum of thought. Brian McNamee deaded the issue when he half-heartedly defended his dispensing of HGH and steroids as a personal trainer: "I just accepted it as the norm, and it was part of the culture in baseball," the compromised former cop told Congress.

Only the fact of our just finally getting good reporting on the matter makes us sensitive to this particular issue. If I'd ever gotten the chance to finish that book on Barry Bonds, I would have made it clear to y'all that busting the likes of Big Head and Roger Clemens would be, to bite Coppola, like handing out speeding tickets at the Indy 500.

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