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A Sisyphean challenge?
Can religion make or break your love?
Dear Gillian,
I have been dating a girl for six months now. We are both madly in love with each other; I know this, she knows this, and so does anyone else who has seen us together. The problem is that she is unwilling to take our relationship to the next level because of our differing religious beliefs. Does love conquer all or am I caught up in a Sisyphean challenge?
– God Help Me!?!?
Dear God Help Me,
To start with, when I got your question, I had to look up "Sisyphean" in the dictionary. Call me what you will, but for those of you in my camp, it means "endless/toilsome" and stems from Greek mythology. Check out Wikipedia's Sisyphus entry to get the full story.
All right then, back to business. What a wonderful world it would be if love could conquer all (and our farts smelled good, for that matter) — but let's be real, that's just not the case. Religion is an extremely powerful force that certainly does its fair share of conquering (think about the world's war history and you'll know what I'm getting at). I don't know enough about your girlfriend's situation, but while she may be gaga over you on one hand, it sounds like there are strong opposing forces working on the other. The opinion of one's family, friends, and community can be very influential in this arena. I know people who have been literally disowned by their parents for marrying out of their religion. It sounds like your gal may not be willing to suffer the consequences of straying from her pack.
So, what I suggest is that the two of you have a frank discussion. Tell her that while you are in love with her, you do not want to waste your time in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. Try to get an understanding of exactly what's happening in her world. If she does not foresee getting over your religious differences, don't be dense. As painful as it may be, you must cut your losses and move on. The longer you wait the harder it will be on both of you.
Gillian Zoe Segal is a new advice columnist for the MOLI View. Look for her column in the Life and Love section every Thursday. Do you have a question for Gillian? Please send her a message on her personal profile page.
I have been dating a girl for six months now. We are both madly in love with each other; I know this, she knows this, and so does anyone else who has seen us together. The problem is that she is unwilling to take our relationship to the next level because of our differing religious beliefs. Does love conquer all or am I caught up in a Sisyphean challenge?
– God Help Me!?!?
Dear God Help Me,
To start with, when I got your question, I had to look up "Sisyphean" in the dictionary. Call me what you will, but for those of you in my camp, it means "endless/toilsome" and stems from Greek mythology. Check out Wikipedia's Sisyphus entry to get the full story.
All right then, back to business. What a wonderful world it would be if love could conquer all (and our farts smelled good, for that matter) — but let's be real, that's just not the case. Religion is an extremely powerful force that certainly does its fair share of conquering (think about the world's war history and you'll know what I'm getting at). I don't know enough about your girlfriend's situation, but while she may be gaga over you on one hand, it sounds like there are strong opposing forces working on the other. The opinion of one's family, friends, and community can be very influential in this arena. I know people who have been literally disowned by their parents for marrying out of their religion. It sounds like your gal may not be willing to suffer the consequences of straying from her pack.
So, what I suggest is that the two of you have a frank discussion. Tell her that while you are in love with her, you do not want to waste your time in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. Try to get an understanding of exactly what's happening in her world. If she does not foresee getting over your religious differences, don't be dense. As painful as it may be, you must cut your losses and move on. The longer you wait the harder it will be on both of you.
Gillian Zoe Segal is a new advice columnist for the MOLI View. Look for her column in the Life and Love section every Thursday. Do you have a question for Gillian? Please send her a message on her personal profile page.
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