MOLI VIEW™

Dear Theo,

I recently graduated from high school and moved a good 700 miles away from home to Orlando, Florida. I was there for about three months when my grandmother became very ill. I knew she had Alzheimer's/dementia before I moved but I just thought she forgot things a lot; I didn't really realize the magnitude of the disease. She was very violent towards my grandfather and broke his nose and cracked two of his ribs.

I made the decision to pack up and move back to help out, but I didn't do much good since we had to put her in a nursing home a week after I arrived. I'm supposed to return to Orlando in a month or so, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. My grandfather's a mess and part of me feels obligated to stay there with him. But at the same time, I feel like I should live my own life. I don't want to abandon my family, but I don't want to keep living where I'm unhappy. What should I do?

— Ali's in Wonderland

Dear Ali,

This is an extremely difficult decision and a real pickle! I truly feel for you. There's got to be a way to live your own life and still help out when you are able.

Flights to Florida on Jet Blue are pretty inexpensive. You could plan visits to be with your grandfather. I don't know what the rest of your family situation is, but it would also be a good idea to split up this responsibility with your relatives, if possible. It's not entirely fair (AT ALL) that all this falls on you, especially since you have already been hangin' tough, taking care of your grandfather. That is, IF there are other family members that are physically able to be there. I do believe you can find a way to be helpful and still go on your way and enjoy your OWN life.

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