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The Couture Collections
An irreverent look from afar at the couture collections in Milan
It was the couture collections this month in Europe. The New York Times sent me over there to report. I ended up in the wrong city, but it didn't stop me breathlessly dictating this review over the phone to The Grey Lady. For some reason, they didn't publish it…
The Couture Collections
Roman Milisic
The official unveiling of the couture collections got off to an exhilarating start in Milan on Monday with Armani's ritual killing of wild animals for Armani Privé. The applause was deafening.
For his part, Issey Miyake introduced a line abuzz with religious overtones. Models were stigmatized. Menswear came with genuine, life-sized crucifixes, worn on the shoulder and secured at palms and waist. For women, atonement for sins of the flesh came through painful, impossibly high heels.
Gucci drew heavily from the 80s—the 1880s. Models, those whores, were beaten to death with the heel of this season's shoe.
Disdain lent sophistication to an inspired collection from Christian Lacroix. Luxurious separates came in double-faced wool and knitted deceit. Disgust was worn on sleeves, and Lacroix mixed ambition with loathing to create a brand new machine-washable fiber. Unexpectedly, God was sewn into details.
Some have claimed that Alexander McQueen's work after Givenchy has lacked some of the drive and finish that characterized his early career. To silence critics, McQueen, in Tiger-print, completed 18 holes of golf in less than 90. Dropping a shot on the 12th, McQueen came back with 3 birdies to tie for the lead with John Galliano, 1 over par.
Galliano, in retaliation, designed two pairs of identical pants. —"In case he gets a hole in one." The heredity of that pun is outlined in a label stitched into the pant pocket.
Calvin Klein, suffering from a mass escape at his Taiwanese sweatshop, had this season's entire line produced virtually, in a Californian special effects lab. His decision to abandon the traditional methods of the couturier for the convenience and durability of "online" fashion outraged style mavens, but was cautiously welcomed by Nintendo and Microsoft.
The Couture Collections
Roman Milisic
The official unveiling of the couture collections got off to an exhilarating start in Milan on Monday with Armani's ritual killing of wild animals for Armani Privé. The applause was deafening.
For his part, Issey Miyake introduced a line abuzz with religious overtones. Models were stigmatized. Menswear came with genuine, life-sized crucifixes, worn on the shoulder and secured at palms and waist. For women, atonement for sins of the flesh came through painful, impossibly high heels.
Gucci drew heavily from the 80s—the 1880s. Models, those whores, were beaten to death with the heel of this season's shoe.
Disdain lent sophistication to an inspired collection from Christian Lacroix. Luxurious separates came in double-faced wool and knitted deceit. Disgust was worn on sleeves, and Lacroix mixed ambition with loathing to create a brand new machine-washable fiber. Unexpectedly, God was sewn into details.
Some have claimed that Alexander McQueen's work after Givenchy has lacked some of the drive and finish that characterized his early career. To silence critics, McQueen, in Tiger-print, completed 18 holes of golf in less than 90. Dropping a shot on the 12th, McQueen came back with 3 birdies to tie for the lead with John Galliano, 1 over par.
Galliano, in retaliation, designed two pairs of identical pants. —"In case he gets a hole in one." The heredity of that pun is outlined in a label stitched into the pant pocket.
Calvin Klein, suffering from a mass escape at his Taiwanese sweatshop, had this season's entire line produced virtually, in a Californian special effects lab. His decision to abandon the traditional methods of the couturier for the convenience and durability of "online" fashion outraged style mavens, but was cautiously welcomed by Nintendo and Microsoft.
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