MOLI VIEW™

I thought that the vogue of installing MP3 players in everything that moves had finally reached its zenith when jfury alerted me to the presence of the iTaze, an adorable, leopard-print-optional stun gun that'll kick out the jams while you dish out the juice. Imagine being able to bring down your assailant while Paul Stanley wails, "Shock me! Make me feel better" in the background. Makes you wanna go out and taze people just for fun.

But all the wired-for-sound Pez dispensers and Altoid boxes on the market now pale in comparison to the latest contender: the force-sensitive musical condom. Yes, you read that correctly.

According to Inventorspot.com, the funky prophylactic brings the noise via "a chip-controlled piezoelectric sound transducer which plays a melody or voiced message when, during intercourse, the contacts of the sound-playing unit are closed and the transducer is activated." Now, instead of imagining that the theme from Shaft is playing while you're admiring your partner's forehead (or other sundry parts), you can make it a reality. Not to mention the convenience of prerecorded groans of satisfaction. Faking it has never been so easy!

No news yet on the musical dental dam — but, it can't be far behind. Judas Priest's "Eat Me Alive," perhaps? Just a thought.

Wendy Case is the MOLI View's contributing editor for Arts & Entertainment. She posts in her blog Truther Than Strange on odd days.

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