MOLI VIEW™

Just when you thought Blender couldn't possibly have any more snarky lists worth soaking up ink, the music magazine comes up with the tantalizing "list of worst lyricists."

Reuters reported Monday that the list, destined for the November issue, includes Paul McCartney for such damning works as "Ebony and Ivory," Robert Plant of Led Zeppelin for his dopey Tolkien pilferings on "Ramble On," and Carly Simon for her laborious rhyme schemes in "You're So Vain."

While I buy into smacking Robert Plant around for "In the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair" (though it's a guilty pleasure), I'd probably be inclined to let the other two slide on relative technicalities. The top spot, however, I'm not budging on.

The place where Blender nailed it supremely, in my estimation, was naming Sting the Number 1 worst lyricist of all time. I was fresh out of high school when "Every Breath You Take" was a hit — which means I pretty much winced my way through the first year of college. Naturally, he and the Police (with whom he recorded the offending masterpiece) won a Grammy for Song of the Year in 1984. Figures.

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