Carol Szuch
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this one says it all
21.May.08, 12:53 EDT
<TABLE class=messageheader cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0> <TBODY> <TR> <TD class=label noWrap>From:</TD> <TD>"Carol Szuch" <cs@silvermans.com></TD></TR> <TR> <TD class=label noWrap>To:</TD> <TD>"lee bell" <eddiearat@sbcglobal.net></TD></TR> <TR> <TD class=label noWrap>Subject:</TD> <TD>Re: good morning baby doll </TD></TR> <TR> <TD class=label noWrap>Date:</TD> <TD>Fri, 7 Sep 2007 10:19:38 -0500</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><!-- type = text --> <DIV class="messageinfo separator"> <P><EM>HTML Attachment</EM> [ <A href="/ym/ShowLetter?box=CA&MsgId=9336_0_75070_612_5446_0_4292_14999_3825480132_oSObkYn4Ur5HQV78mWDku85HUvTxfhgTQOWkrGcG2ptX2vrfyKGoWCYd8LNyTOyo7QWNl1lf4JJNMhfbY20ekWhwM8o7JEn6i4ynfibrYPM._Gz_viOguErn4gAcpqzW.qZgAC_Cv4dzKV3Na0TG8K1s.jVroNcyDh5_cQ--&bodyPart=2.2.2.2&YY=99677&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=5&view=a&head=b&VScan=1&Idx=147">Scan and Save to Computer</A> ] </P></DIV> <DIV id=yiv1827976615> <META> <STYLE></STYLE> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Eddie,</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>As much as I missed talking to you I love that I got some sleep last night. I feel so good today after sleeping all night. I must of really needed it. I had a hectic day but was able to handle it because I did not let myself get emotionally involved in any situation nor did I lose my cool. You give me strength that I did not know I had. You do it by being there for me. Knowing you care gives me the courage to stand up for myself and handle the things I need to handle. This thing with this guy I was seeing is difficult and I have to tell you about it because I feel like I am lying to you. I care for you to much to ever lie to you I just fear you will think badly of me. So forgive me for not telling you in person but I can not seem to get the words out when I am with you. I met Joe 11 years ago. He is my sisters x- husband. They have been divorced for three years. Patti (my sister) told me we would be perfect for each other and we started talking. This was in the beginning of July. Since that time my sister changed her mind and told me it bothered her and did not want me to see him. At that point I had feeling for him and needed him. I now know that I needed him in order not to be pulled in by Ray which makes me feel like a horrible person. The only people that knew I was seeing him were my kids. The reason it is so hard for me to tell him I dont want to see him anymore is because I know he loves me and his daughter is very special to me. She ask me to be her step mom. This little girl is my niece and I can not hurt her. So understand that I need to end this in way not to hurt her or Joe. These are to people that I will always care for and they will always be in my life. In case in is on your mind, know that when I kissed you I have not seen Joe like that, I have just been avoiding the issue. Something that is just hurting him more. I pray you do not think I am a horrible person but I can not change what has already happened.                              </FONT></DIV> <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV> <DIV style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial"><B>From:</B> <A title=eddiearat@sbcglobal.net href="/ym/Compose?To=eddiearat@sbcglobal.net" target=_blank rel=nofollow ymailto="mailto:eddiearat@sbcglobal.net">lee bell</A> </DIV> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=cs@silvermans.com href="/ym/Compose?To=cs@silvermans.com" target=_blank rel=nofollow ymailto="mailto:cs@silvermans.com">c s</A> </DIV> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Friday, September 07, 2007 3:14 AM</DIV> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> good morning baby doll </DIV> <DIV><BR></DIV> <DIV>good morning baby doll yes i got some sleep in last night and i missed talking to you </DIV> <DIV>but i did write you something before i went to bed Carol i just hope you know how much </DIV> <DIV>you mean to me i know things are messed up right now but they will get better in time </DIV> <DIV>and i really do love you baby doll and miss you when you are not around i hope you got some sleep in last night and things went well for you well i got to go to work all ready love you </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV> <DIV id=yiv1656155681><SPAN class=poem>As I mingled amongst the crowd<BR>So much to see,so much to do<BR>But my attention,my spirit,my body<BR>My everything was drawn to you<BR>As we talked,how impressed I became<BR>The knowledge,the beauty,the enchantment<BR>And I,hoping you felt the same<BR>I am quiet at times,not sure of words<BR>Although I do figure it out,too late<BR>As when I do,it goes down in verse<BR>If a bit on your mind,well that is a start<BR>Feel free to stay as long as you like<BR>It is warm and loving here,inside my heart.</SPAN> </DIV></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV><noscript /><link href="http://l.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/pim/r/medici/16_11/mail/us/mail_blue_all.css" media="all" mce_href="http://l.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/pim/r/medici/16_11/mail/us/mail_blue_all.css" type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" /><script src="http://l.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/pim/r/medici/16_11/mail/mailcommonlib.js" mce_src="http://l.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/pim/r/medici/16_11/mail/mailcommonlib.js" /><style type="text/css">.replbq{width:100%}</style><script type="text/javascript"> var LetterVals = { UIStrings : { __last : 'not used' }, StateDynamic : true, yplus_browser : true, premium_user : true, smsintl : "", SidebarSyncActionType : "read", SidebarSyncAuxActionType : "", SidebarSyncUID : "4292", SidebarSyncAuxUID : "", getString : function(id) { var result = this.UIStrings[id]; if ( result == null ) { return "Not translated: '" + id + "'"; } return result; } } </script><script src="http://l.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/pim/r/medici/16_11/mail/letter.js" mce_src="http://l.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/pim/r/medici/16_11/mail/letter.js" type="text/javascript" /><script src="http://us.js2.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/lw/ysc_csc_ymailcl_3.0.3.js" mce_src="http://us.js2.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/lw/ysc_csc_ymailcl_3.0.3.js" /><link href="http://us.js2.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/lw/contextual_shortcuts_3.0.2.css" mce_href="http://us.js2.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/lw/contextual_shortcuts_3.0.2.css" type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" /><script type="text/javascript"> var YAHOO = window.YAHOO ? window.YAHOO : {}; if ( !YAHOO.ShortcutsExt ){ YAHOO.ShortcutsExt = {}; YAHOO.ShortcutsExt.CustomConfiguration = {}; } YAHOO.ShortcutsExt.CustomConfiguration.PartnerName = "AT&T Yahoo!"; YAHOO.ShortcutsExt.CustomConfiguration.HelpUrl = "http://help.yahoo.com/us/mail/shortcuts"; </script><table class="applicationcontainer managementview" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr valign="top"><td class="content"></td></tr></tbody></table>
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the next letter
21.May.08, 12:51 EDT
<TABLE class=messageheader cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0> <TBODY> <TR> <TD class=label noWrap>From:</TD> <TD>"Carol Szuch" <cs@silvermans.com></TD></TR> <TR> <TD class=label noWrap>To:</TD> <TD>"lee bell" <eddiearat@sbcglobal.net></TD></TR> <TR> <TD class=label noWrap>Subject:</TD> <TD>My Life</TD></TR> <TR> <TD class=label noWrap>Date:</TD> <TD>Sat, 1 Sep 2007 14:04:25 -0500</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE><!-- type = text --> <DIV class="messageinfo separator"> <P><EM>HTML Attachment</EM> [ <A href="/ym/ShowLetter?box=CA&MsgId=9458_0_72583_591_6222_0_4287_18045_473208049_oSObkYn4Ur5HQV78mWDku85HUvTxfhgTQOWkrGcG2ptX2vrfyKGoWCYd8LNyTOyo7QWNl1lf4JJNMhfbY20ekWhwM8o7JEn6i4ymdiLgYPlCgNSRC9x3.YZfb0dibdM_jwfrM5LcxX0sTLHlTuS._2hha2pf_0.eUoL6_g--&bodyPart=2.2.2.2&YY=57202&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=5&view=a&head=b&VScan=1&Idx=142">Scan and Save to Computer</A> ] </P></DIV> <DIV id=yiv1246421094> <META> <STYLE></STYLE> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua">As I read this I realize that you know more about me than I do myself. I guess that is an advantage from being able to look at me from the outside. I am excited about finding out what makes me happy and who I am. When you live for another person for so many years and that person leaves, you find yourself lost in a world of uncertainty. I believe life is what you make it and my decisions in life will guide my happiness.  I have made decisions that were not the best and now realize at the time I made them I was not in the best state of mind to be making any decisions. I need to learn to make decision based on what makes me happy and hopefully that will make the people around me happy as well. That is my plan so we will see how it works out.</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua">I am still not sure where and when you fit in to my crazy life. That is a decision I plan to take my time making because I would never want to hurt you. I feel you have so much love in your heart to give and you deserve that love in return. I don't want to take that step and then find out that I am not the best person to give you what you need. Or vise versa. You are an intelligent, caring person that has literally swept me off me feet but I need to keep my feet on the ground and be careful about the decisions I make. Your friendship has meant a lot to me. Please understand at this point in my life your friendship means more to me than any relationship could. I am actually grateful that my current situation is preventing me from taking our friendship to another level, because I do not feel the timing is right but I can not ignore the feelings that are clearly there. I have thought a lot about the relationship I am in and I realize what I need to do but then I want to take time for me and time to figure things out. I do not want there to be even a slight chance that I make a wrong decision in my life again. When I started the relationship I am in now I thought I needed a guy in my life to help me be stronger and to keep me from going back to Ray. It was also good to have someone hold me and make me feel like I was worth something. Something that Ray had taken away from me. I will always regret hurting this person and not being able to be strong on my own.  I can not allow myself to rely on you for strength or to make be feel that I am worth something. If I do that I would be making the same mistakes again. This will be hard for me and I pray for the strength to stand on my own. The way I feel in your arms gives me that since of security, something I want to be able to feel on my own. I hope I am not being unrealistic by thinking that I can have your friendship while I am finding out who I am and learning to be a stronger person emotionally. </FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua">By now you probably think I am pretty unstable and you may want to keep your distance. That I would understand. So please don't worry if that is your decision.</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua">Your poem:</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua">Words can be amazing. </FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua">Its like when you look up at the sky with your naked eye. </FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua">You may see the stars but not as many as you would with help of some binoculars. </FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua">The same is true with words. Words like stars have many more behind them, you just have to look for them.</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua">Carol</FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua"></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face="Book Antiqua"></FONT> </DIV> <BLOCKQUOTE dir=ltr style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV> <DIV style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial"><B>From:</B> <A title=eddiearat@sbcglobal.net href="/ym/Compose?To=eddiearat@sbcglobal.net" target=_blank rel=nofollow ymailto="mailto:eddiearat@sbcglobal.net">lee bell</A> </DIV> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=cs@silvermans.com href="/ym/Compose?To=cs@silvermans.com" target=_blank rel=nofollow ymailto="mailto:cs@silvermans.com">Carol Szuch</A> </DIV> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Friday, August 31, 2007 10:27 PM</DIV> <DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> Re: heres your smile for to day </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT><BR></DIV> <DIV>As i said before baby i will wait for you i am not settling so please do .</DIV> <DIV>What you have to do to make yourself happy in this life ..................................................</DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV> <DIV>Your fragile, folded wings</DIV> <DIV>Are just tired from the pure blue sky</DIV> <DIV>You don't have to force your smiles for anyone</DIV> <DIV>It's okay to smile...for yourself.</DIV> <DIV>That loneley feeling keeps creeping up on me </DIV> <DIV>As a single candle burns still inside</DIV> <DIV>There shouldn't be an expensive chandelier in a place like this </DIV> <DIV>Can i really bury it all with empty words ?</DIV> <DIV>I don't even know anymore........</DIV> <DIV>As long as we can swim freely in our dreams</DIV> <DIV>We won't need that sky anymore.</DIV> <DIV>Even if you can't let go of the past</DIV> <DIV>I'll still be there to meet you tomorrow</DIV> <DIV>It's okay to smile..for yourself.</DIV> <DIV>With your fragile, folded wings</DIV> <DIV>That your wings are just tired from the pure blue sky </DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></DIV><noscript /><link href="http://l.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/pim/r/medici/16_11/mail/us/mail_blue_all.css" media="all" type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" /><script src="http://l.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/pim/r/medici/16_11/mail/mailcommonlib.js" /><style type="text/css">.replbq{width:100%}</style><script type="text/javascript"> var LetterVals = { UIStrings : { __last : 'not used' }, StateDynamic : true, yplus_browser : true, premium_user : true, smsintl : "", SidebarSyncActionType : "read", SidebarSyncAuxActionType : "", SidebarSyncUID : "4287", SidebarSyncAuxUID : "", getString : function(id) { var result = this.UIStrings[id]; if ( result == null ) { return "Not translated: '" + id + "'"; } return result; } } </script><script src="http://l.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/pim/r/medici/16_11/mail/letter.js" type="text/javascript" /><script src="http://us.js2.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/lw/ysc_csc_ymailcl_3.0.3.js" /><link href="http://us.js2.yimg.com/us.js.yimg.com/lib/lw/contextual_shortcuts_3.0.2.css" type="text/css" rel="stylesheet" /><script type="text/javascript"> var YAHOO = window.YAHOO ? window.YAHOO : {}; if ( !YAHOO.ShortcutsExt ){ YAHOO.ShortcutsExt = {}; YAHOO.ShortcutsExt.CustomConfiguration = {}; } YAHOO.ShortcutsExt.CustomConfiguration.PartnerName = "AT&T Yahoo!"; YAHOO.ShortcutsExt.CustomConfiguration.HelpUrl = "http://help.yahoo.com/us/mail/shortcuts"; </script><table class="applicationcontainer managementview" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr valign="top"><td class="content"></td></tr></tbody></table>
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