This is another Uncle Percy story, and I probably ought to be patient and let him tell the story . . . but it's just too good to put off.  I've already given you fair warning that Percy B. Hand will soon start writing his own blogs.   He's half through his second creative writing course at the juco, says he's about ready to try his hand at doing his own thing before long.  And he's even been taking typing lessons from Thelma Herman, a retired commerce teacher from up around Abilene.  She moved down to Crab Apple Cove on the Lake after her husband got killed a few years back.  Rumor has it that Percy's sweet on Thelma, but she's been playing hard to get, being as how she's an old fashioned gal.  He did get her to go out with him to dinner at Betty's Barbeque Place.  Somebody said he washed and waxed his old pickup truck, even cleaned all the empty beer cans and trash out of it.   

Maybe he'll write a blog about his new romance with Thelma, or he might write one about Biggie getting himself in big trouble at the trailer park over near where Percy lives.  What I'm talking about is when Biggie dug under his back yard fence and went slumming over at the local trailer park.  If you'll remember from former stories, Biggie is Uncle Percy's Chihuahua dog, and he's quite a character in his own right.  Wherever you find Percy, you're likely to find Biggie sitting on his shoulder or tucked into the bib pocket of his overalls.  Anyway, Biggie ended up running into a dog in heat and got himself hung up to a toy poodle named Pookie. 

The woman who owned the poodle found 'em that way, got so pissed off that she yanked Biggie off her precious Pookie.  When she found the two little dogs hung up, she just scooped 'em up and rudely pulled them apart.  Ouch! That went hard on poor Biggie's little doggie diddler, and he went home yipping in pain.  Percy came home and found he running circles on the front porch, sitting down every few seconds to lick his wounded poodle prod.  Percy had to take him to the vet to get him some relief for his sore weenie, and then him and the woman who caused the injury got in a big shouting match about it.  

Things went from bad to worse, I reckon, 'cause all the shouting they did at each other caused lots of rumors to fly around about how Percy was having an affair with Denise Dudley (that's the gal who owned the poodle).  Denise is about sixty and the size of your average sumo wrestler, and she's got a voice that's about as big.  People all over Crab Apple Cove could hear her shouting at Percy, saying things like, "I don't give a shit about your Biggie.  What about my poor Pookie?"  Well, you know how it is with noise in a trailer park, how sound bouncing around off all those metal trailers can change what people hear . . . and folks all around were sure Percy and Denise were having a big lover's spat.

Percy says he's real embarrassed about it now, but Biggie's weenie is better and he's quit licking it all the time.  He says he's sure glad Biggie's stopped doing that, being as how it's awful hard to get waited on in a cafe when you've got a Chihuahua sitting on your shoulder licking his little dickie.  I'll bet that's right!

Cletus, 11/14/07