Only a warped mind would think of the things that go through my head from time to time, but lately I've been wondering how Forrest Gump would fair among American presidents?  I looked up some rankings of all the presidents ever elected to that office, and am convinced that Forrest Gump should have been president . . . if, of course, he had really existed.  Author Winston Groom invented him about thirty years ago, and the screenwriter Eric Roth made him famous as a movie character. 

Forrest Gump had a IQ of only 75, but he's one of the most loveable characters ever to appear in the movies . . . and one of the most quoted.  He quotes his mama in the movie, saying, "Stupid is as stupid does."   Some movie observers even say that the movie itself had some minor role in promoting the Republican revolution that came about shortly after the movie came out . . . that Forest himself represents conservative values.  I agree.  Of course Forrest represents conservative values . . . because that's about all a moron or idiot can represent.  Myself, I think the stupid is as stupid does comment was a prediction of George W. Bush's performance in the White House.

Now, here's the the part of the story that's both sad . . . and a little uplifting.  We as Americans like stupid.  It's one of the most marketable things in our society, one of them most highly sought after.  Getting drunk, for instance, is stupid . . . but we've got millions of folks doing it, and I'm not talking about just a few million.  We do all sorts of destructive things to our bodies . . . in the name of fashion or art . . . that are completely stupid.  We like stupid books, movies, television . . . and even stupid blogs on the internet.  In fact, this might be one of the dumbest blogs I ever wrote, but what the hell, I'm as shallow as anyone when it comes to getting a read or two.

Back to Forrest.  Like most other Americans, I love Forrest Gump.  I even like what he stands for, which is - stupid is as stupid does, but you don't have to do stupid things just because you're dumb.  Now, did that make any sense at all to you?  If so, then you probably would've voted for Forrest Gump, had he ever existed and could have run for president.  What the hell!  I probably would vote for him too.  It's not that I like stupid, it's just that I like people who can recognize it when they see it.  Maybe Forrest should've also said, "It takes one to know one."  Or, did he say it and I missed it?

Most people think George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and F. D. Roosevelt belong in the great president class.  Add to that group Thomas Jefferson and Teddy Roosevelt, and you get not more that five all-American greats.  There's a few near greats, like Harry Truman and Woodrow Wilson, but the total number of great to excellent presidents would be no more than a dozen.  But what if Forrest Gump had made it to the White House, what then?  Well, I think he belongs somewhere in the top ten, for sure . . . if for no other reason, he would've recognized his limitations and therefore acted accordingly.  And he couldn't have been any worse than the current president.  A recent poll of historians showed that 98 percent of them think he's a bad president, and that 61 percent think he's the worst in the history of the country.  Undoubtedly, George is not quite as loveable as Forrest Gump . . . or as observant.

C. Duhon, 4/13/08f
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