it makes me happy to see you cry.

acid tears melt the
stone around my heart
built up from years
of self abuse
........neglect
built up to protect
the scared little boy
too scared to make a phone call
too scared to exist outside the odd text
a few postings on the internet
shrouded in the mask of the sexual predator
shrouded in the mask of the drunk
shrouded in the mask of the extrovert
but behind the mask
is the little boy that still cries himself to sleep
mourns the days of youth
running in the fields
16 years old
by the river strumming chords
and drinking beer
under the striking summer heat
i'm 28 and feel old
feel set in my ways
in a rut
looking for an escape
but always choosing the safe path
adhearing to the skull and crossbones death mark
that marks the path to freedom
true happiness
avoid it at all costs
because it's too difficult to bother
but for now
i'll just find happiness
in the tears i make you cry.

copyright Alan Goodenough 2008


by alidamnit