Dear Tim,
I want to wear my amazing teal taffeta party dress to my holiday party. My friends all laugh at me, and say the dress looks like a bad bridesmaid dress from 1989. What do you think? Should I wear it and say how fashion forward I am? Since everything old, becomes new again or should I chuck it and get myself to Dillard's? I'm including a picture of the dress with my letter.

Sincerely,
Torn in Tulsa
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Dear Torn,
And I use that term loosely. First off thank you for asking for my advice, I'm always so thankful when someone seeks to better themselves through fashion. You seem like a kind-hearted albeit mislead fashion diva-lette in training. I have to say, that when I opened your e-mail, my Mac Powerbook inexplicably powered off. After coaxing my laptop back to full power, I’ve realized your conundrum.

I’m going to make several broad statements and don’t take offense, I say this for your fashion education. First off teal taffeta never did anyone any favors, and unless you want to like that quaint cartoon character “Gumby”. I’m recommending you choose something a bit more flattering, than something someone would wear only if they were the last being on earth without a mirror or indoor lighting. Choose a color that makes you look radiant, or when in doubt choose black it looks elegant on everyone. But stay away from sequins as I have a feeling you may not know how to wear them judiciously.

Nothing that you could ever deem to do with this outfit would ever ‘make it work’. Invite your girlfriends over for a cocktail party. Andre makes a fabulous margarita with a charming ingredient called Blue Curacao, (I’m including the recipe) serve appetizers and set up a little bonfire. Throw this dress on it immediately! Although you should probably stand several feet back as the petroleum content in this dress could cause a small explosion. And watch it burn, baby burn.

Yours truly,
Tim


Andre’s Bluerita Recipe (Margarita)
15 oz tequila
10 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
10 oz lime juice
coarse salt

Rub rim of cocktail glass with lime juice. Dip rim in coarse salt. Shake tequila, blue curacao, and lime juice with ice, strain into the salt-rimmed glass, and serve.

Makes ten servings. Enjoy!