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  1. Episode 5 - What's the Skinny

    21.Dec.07, 11:46 EST
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    Brought to you this week by the lovely critics at "Television Without Pity dot Com":

    The challenge this week is presented by Heidi on the runway. She brings out a group of everyday women. They have all recently lost a significant amount of weight, and are wearing their favorite outfit pre-weight loss. So, the designers' challenge is to create an everyday look for the ladies, using the materials from before they lost weight.

    Meanwhile, Jack begins to suffer from a staph infection in his face that made his lip swell like crazy. He calls his doctor, who recommends aggressive treatment, so Jack tearfully leaves the show. Before his dress form has even cooled, though, Tim brings back Chris March!

    Some of the designers have a pretty easy time, while others are stumped from the get-go. Steven works with a lady's white polyester wedding dress. Hideous. Chris is behind everyone else in terms of progress on his design, so he is allowed to work overnight in the workroom.

    Ricky's model tells him that she feels pretty in his design and he starts crying. AND he cries about it again in an interview. Don't anybody loan Ricky your Terms of Endearment DVD. There could be problems.

    On the runway, the highlights are Christian, Kevin, and Jillian. Jillian doesn't even use the original garment, but the judges don't seem to care since the dress she made is so good. Kevin turns a blazer into a really sexy top that the model really seems to love. Christian updates his client's jeans and black shirt look without offending her rather staid preferences. He wows the judges and is chosen as the winner of this challenge. He gets immunity for the next challenge!

    The bottom three are Chris, Steven, and Elisa. Chris is once again told that his work is too costume-y. Elisa's design looks like her, but it doesn't look like the client. Patrick Robinson, the head designer for Gap and the guest judge, thinks that perhaps Elisa was pushing her own ideas onto her client. Steven's outfit is a mess. It looks like a French maid outfit, or so say all of the judges. Michael Kors is practically speechless. Heidi still has her voice, though, and she informs Steven that he is out.



  2. Episode Four - Trendsetter

    17.Dec.07, 16:02 EST
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    This recap is brought to you by the quick-witted folks at "Television Without Pity dot com".

    This week, the designers partake in what may just be the most creative overall challenge in the series' history. Nina Garcia visits them in the workroom (who knew she could stand?) and presents them with 12 different fashion trends that are no longer in vogue. Names are drawn, and each designer picks one of the dead trends. Then they are told that they will be working in groups of three, and will be required to incorporate each of their dead trends, while also creating a cohesive collection. Expansive, yes?

    Jillian, Rami, and Kevin work with overalls (which Jillian was wearing when Nina visited the workroom…awkward!), poodle skirts, and '70s flares. Chris, Steven, and Sweet P have shoulder pads, dancewear (that's a dead trend? Tell that to my closet), and baggy sweaters. Christian, Kit, and Jack worked with zoot suits, pleather, and fringe. Ricky, Victorya, and Elisa use cut-outs, underwear as outerwear, and neon. Jillian was the leader of her team and was freaking the entire time that Kevin was not going to have enough time to finish his design, but he did, and it was great. Victorya and Ricky, meanwhile, did not enjoy each other's company. Victorya passive-aggressively blamed Ricky for not stopping her from making mistakes, and Ricky just barely controlled his rage (which I'm sure would have been followed very closely by tears).

    On the runway, Jillian's and Christian's teams were the clear winners. Their stuff was modern, cohesive, and really incorporated the elements required of the challenge. In the end, Jillian was named the winner for being the leader of her team. She declared that she would always be in the top from now on, and would continue winning. Ricky and Chris were the bottom two: Ricky had the worst design of the three looks in his group and was an ineffective team leader (and it's probably a little because he's such a basket case); and Chris made some old-fashioned shoulder pads that everybody (including guest judge and cougar Donna Karan!) hated. Ultimately, Ricky was given yet another reprieve and sweet Chris was sent home. I have a feeling this isn't going to sit well with everyone.

  3. Episode Three - Fashion Giant

    09.Dec.07, 15:50 EST
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    This recap brought to you by the fabulous snarkism of "Television Without Pity dot com".

    The designers are called upon to create a look for former football player -- and owner of the pearliest whites since Tom Snyder -- Tiki Barber to wear on The Today Show. From the sound of it, only Elisa has ever designed any menswear before. Everyone is totally freaked out, aside from Christian, who brags about what a fast sewer he is and PROVES that shit. That little guy can sew very quickly. Their models are guys, and they are all extremely hot. Unless I didn't see one of them closely enough. But I think they were all really freaking hot. Tiki's wife, Ginny, comes in at one point to see the progress of the designers and help Tim advise them.

    On the runway, there are some nice surprises, and some train wrecks. Jack wins the challenge with a snappy little combo of pinstripe slacks and a contrasting striped shirt. We also learned that he has been living with HIV for over a decade. Sweet P, Ricky, and Carmen end up in the bottom three, and understandably, because their work is pretty bad and largely unfinished. And, as Michael Kors says, "I want to see clothes, not what coulda been." All three of them are completely honest about their shortcomings and not defensive with the judges, which makes the elimination a bit sadder. Carmen and Ricky are the bottom two, with Carmen ultimately going home for not sewing a shirt and screwing up everything she did complete. And, per expectation, Ricky cries. He officially has a problem.


  4. Episode Two - Who's Your Celebrity?

    04.Dec.07, 15:36 EST
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    Due to my busy schedule (exotic world traveling and building an empire), I've been sorely remiss in updating this blog. So please enjoy a small recap brought to you by the lovely folks at "Television Without Pity dot com".

    Holy crap. Did Sarah Jessica Parker just show up on this show? Yes, she did. She's looking for something to go in her Steve & Sweatshop line. Chris March starts crying when he sees her because she is the reason that he moved to New York in the first place. Each of the designers presents his or her ideas to Sarah Jessica, and she chooses seven designers to lead. The chosen designers then each have to choose one other designer to partner with.

    Everybody does a fairly nice job. Sarah Jessica is particularly enamored with the work of Victorya (with help from Kevin) and Elisa (with an assist from Sweet Pea). Yes, I said Elisa. Her design was actually quite sophisticated, and she and the Pea of Sweat worked really well together. Christian, with an unflattering design, and Marion, with his misshapen maybe sexy/maybe hospital garb are the bad guys.

    The eventual winner is Victorya, and she is told that her design will be sold at Steve & Vulture Capitalism as part of her Bitten line. Marion is sent home for his confusing Pocahontas design. Through it all, though, SJP is pretty darn amazing. I'm not sure if it's too late to have her run for President, but maybe somebody should think about that.

  5. Episode One "Who Are You?" - Season Four

    16.Nov.07, 17:18 EST
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    I've got to say one of my favorite parts of the show is meeting the designers, getting to learn about those wonderful little personality quirks that will quickly blossom into complete physcosis and split personalities.

    We begin with our new Jay clone, this guy looks like fun and designs for drag queens. Clearly he's got talent even if he's wearing a leopard shirt and chartreuse tie. Next up Rami Kashou, or as another blogger referred to him "Yummy Cashews" and this guy is delicious he's a freelance designer who's worked with Jessica Alba and could be a secret Mossad agent. I think I have a crush on him. [He's clearly working the shaved head.]

    Chris or Jay clone greets a cute hobbit named Christian who in his audition tape declares himself as "kinda fierce" which if you say it like that clearly you aren't. He's got this weird post-mullet asymetrical haircut with modern square glasses and it overwhelms his petite frame. He also looks like he might be an angry little man snapping at someone heels as the show progresses. Maybe he could be our resident snipper we'll see...

    Now we meet one of the ladies Carmen, she was a model and is beautiful. She's very modern punk, pretty intense and I just hope she doesn't turn into the classic stereotypical angry black woman. She seems to be a solid designer but her style isn't quite decipherable. Next up Jillian who's also pretty and intense, her reason for PR is she "Didn't want to realize someone else's artistic vision", she used to work at Ralph Lauren. But looking at her portfolio her designs still look as if she's working for Ralph Lauren so right now her style is pretty much POLO. We'll have to see if she develops it.

    Next up a girl named "Pistol" and Kevin "KJeans" Christiana who's obviously a jean designer but wants to get back to a more real collection not one consisting of just jeans.

    We now meet Steven R. who seems kind but a little scary. He's got one of those looks which you're never quite sure if he's smiling with you or going to kill you. Then we meet Simone and Elisa who's our resident crazy and makes marionettes. Marion the flower boutique owner and Ricky "Lingerie Svengali" are next up and "Sweet P" who looks like she parked her Harley-Davidson downstairs are introduced and finally perfect Victorya is added.

    And we're off! This season's runway starts off with an aerobic exercise it's a race to the fashion tents where the designers must run and scavenge as much fabric as possible for their first challenge. The challenge is create an outfit that represents you as a designer.

    We learn that the "Resident Crazy" seems to enjoy on the spot dye jobs and decides to hand dye her fabric by crushing it in the grass in Bryant Park. (Ummm...that's not weird.) The look on Tim's face is priceless. And the Jay clone (poor thing) has to struggle (pant, sweat, and try to run) to get to tents, where everyone else is already in the midst of ripping the fabric off the walls.

    Back at the bat cave aka Parsons, Tim enters and describes the challenge and tells the designers to "make it work". We love Tim. [sigh] Everyone's design illustrate their design aethestics and Resident Crazy seems to feel the need to add all of her fabric to a train on the dress, she describes this as a "cascade", which ends up looking like one big fabric furball. Tim instructs her to "edit", which is clearly Tim code for: "Godsake's woman! Rip that piece of crap fabric explosion train off of that dress, right now!" but Resident Crazy doesn't listen. Why hasn't anyone learned that when Tim talks you need to listen!

    Carmen borrows scissors from superhero looking Jack who enjoy's be ogled by the other women designers who notice his abs. Tim stops by he looks at Rami "Yummy Cashews" and declares his dress as stunning. I absolutely love it, but without the giant Sarah Jessica Parker flower in the front. Christian notices and gets a little snippy. Everyone is exhausted except for Resident Crazy - Eliza who takes a nap.

    Now Heidi must make her speech about how you're either in or you're out! She introduces the judges Michael (sun-glow) Kors, Nina Garcia, and Monique     Lhuillier (acclaimmed wedding dress designer, wonder if she regrets designing Britney Spear's dress?).

    Showtime baby! First up Elisa's dress, the model almost makes it then trips several times, each time catching herself before landing in an untidy heap overtaken by her cascade...err train. Why didn't you listen to Tim? Next up Chris, Kevin's, and Sweet P's dresses they are all nice dress some well done and others ho-hum. Simone's dress which she had to sew on the model to finish it, this I just don't get. It's odd, ill-fitting and not very pretty. Now we see Jillian's coral number, which excuse me looks like she's executing Ralph's vision pretty well.

    Christian's design is next and I have to admit I love this jacket, its gorgeous, the cummerbund and asymetrical skirt I can live without. Victorya's design is cute, but these massive flower corsages have got to go. Rami's dress is absolutely awe-inspiring, it flows, moves, and is very graceful. Love it. Love it. Love it. Steven and Carmen's designs are ahem interesting but we'll move on.

    Now its judgement time, all of the designers are lined up and the safe list is announced. Now the questioning begins, Christian is asked what was his goal? He says he was looking to create something tailored and European. Michael calls it "quirky tailored" and Heidi says it grows on her. Simone's outfit is up next and Nina puts on the platinum boxing gloves and declares the construction a piece of crap. Michael says it looks very Dressed in the Dark. (D.I.T.D.?) Monique is bored.

    Rami's dress is judged and everyone applaudes, we can pretty much call this a done deal. Except for the flower which Michael declares its Mother of the Bride (M.O.B).

    Now the time comes to play Jedi Mind meld with Elisa, the judges ask her what she was thinking and she spits out several adjectives all of which make no sense. The judges look momentarily frozen in time, but they persevere. Nina points out the train was a bad idea, Michael likes the color, Heidi is scared of Elisa, and Monique points out that Elisa should have listened to Tim, in not so many words.

    Now the hard part even though Elisa is crazy they always keep the crazy's for dramatic effect and Simone is out, she looks like she's gonna cry and Heidi placates her with air kisses. Rami wins of course.

    And up this season, momma's gonna need some Kleenex for everyone. It's a cryfest. I cannot wait.