Boy's underwear isn't fashion, scoffs a male friend of mine whose name shall not be mentioned, lest he be mobbed for his sartorial ignorance.
First of all, he goes on, underwear for girls is called lingerie, not underwear. Second, underwear for men doesn't matter. Underwear for men is never called, like, Intimates.
What matters? I say.
Abs. Flat abs. Strong legs. A good package, okay? If you don't have that, you just turn the light out and hope for the best, he said.
Bet you're getting all sorts of action, I said.
Boy's underwear is CRITICAL, I told him. It's just that, once between the sheets, girls tend to be a bit resigned. Or kind of forgiving. Perhaps we're just too nurturing. But what are we going to say? Well, just because you're wearing stained ex-white BVD's from a 3-pak from K-mart, despite how much I like you, I'm out of here?
Maybe in a P-Diddy video, but not out in the world.
So, guys, what do you wear? Girls, what do you like? And girls, what do you wear? I know girls who rock the boxers real good. I know girls who go all boy for it. Yo, L7.
And we're heading into Valentine's Day territory, that giant pond of anxiety regarding love, chocolate, mushy cards and suggestive gimmicks, and I want to know. How do you sleeve it?

THE OFFICIAL VERSION HERE:
The F/D's doing a survey on MEN'S UNDERWEAR. It's a much-maligned, way-too-overlooked subject. And if beauty is in the eyes of the BEHOLDER, so is a missed opportunity to really turn it on. So, darlings and otherwise, the F/D wants to know. Is it BVDs, biker shorts, Euro-styles, commando? Baggies? Stretch? Tight? Are you trying to rock a Richard Hell, Richard Gere, Richard Simmons, or 50 Cent? What is going on down there? And we're talking underwear here, not action. So keep those nonsartorialist dreams to yourself. We're talking fabric, 'kay? Why? I was inspired by this conversation, which says so much about how little those little briefs are understood.

"Boy's underwear isn't fashion," scoffs a male friend of mine whose name shall not be mentioned, lest he be set upon by a mob of fashionistas (or ex-girlfriends) for his sartorial ignorance.

"First of all," he says, "underwear for girls is called lingerie, not underwear. Second, underwear for men doesn't matter. Underwear for men is never called, like, intimates. It's just not that important."

Hah! There must be a million people of all genders and etceteras who would heartily disagree.

"What matters?" I say to my misguided boy pal.

"Abs. Flat abs. Strong legs. A good package, okay? And if you don't have that, which most of us don't, you just turn the light out and hope for the best," he says.

"Bet you're getting all sorts of action," I quip.


Look. Here's the, um, bottom line. Boy's underwear is CRITICAL. It's just that, once between the sheets, sometimes girls tend to be a bit resigned. Or kind of forgiving. Perhaps we're just too nurturing. Understanding. We're taught that, right? And really, what would we say? Well, nice boy, because you're wearing stained briefs from a three-pak from K-mart, despite how much I like you, I'm out of here. Maybe in a P. Diddy video someone says that (she probably looks like, or is, that hot babe of a manufactured pop star Nicole Sherzinger), but not out in the world.

This is the season of love after all. We're heading into Valentine's Day territory, that giant pond of anxiety regarding the emotion I already mentioned, not to mention chocolate, mushy cards, and suggestive gimmicks — and if there were ever a time when underwear shouldn't be ignored, including men's --

So, guys, what do you wear?

Girls, what do you like?

And girls, if you wear it, what do you wear? I know girls who rock the boxers real good. I know girls who go all boy for it. Yo, L7. And who makes the ultimate decision to get those smiley-face shorts? Do you do it for her or does he do it for you?

I want to know.

How do you sleeve it?

Or, what do you want your man/lover/matey/boyly-girl to wear?


Boxers? Trad BVDs? Y-fronts? Euro-style? Thongs? Crazy prints? Retro? Trompe l'oeil (no, I didn't make it up, check out the Paul Frank panties!)? Bikini? Stripes? Polka-dots? Superheroes? Or just plain ol' bold Commando?

Let the Mama F/D know how it blows. Cause it's way more than dressing right or left, ain't it. Take a look down there and start POSTING. And please keep it clean, cause we're not talking dirty laundry.

Jana Martin has been known to sleep in boxers.