To celebrate Karl Rove’s resignation from the tainted house (it's about as White as his heart), here's a look at things he’d never own or wear:


He’d never have these cupcake dishes from roseandradish to hold the stamps for the invitations for his barbecue. He’d probably grab one while he was guffawing at his own joke (or who he wasn't inviting) and hopefully crack a tooth on the lacquer.

He’d never paper his special secret resignational new condo with this painterly, soft-hued wallpaper from Trove, though bloggers have been raving about it (including Holly Becker at decor8, who  has wonderful un-Rove-like taste).

He’d never sit on on this  interactive Fuwapica table and chairs by Studio Mongoose, which interact with the colors set on them and darken if a heavy person sits down. The idea behind the furniture: Why keep furniture inert and silent? It should get the chance to talk back. It should get the chance to turn black when KR sits on it. (Maybe they should have invented an ejector seat that makes its own decisions.)

He’d never wear a game-over hoodie to ward off the chill of the central AC.

He’d especially not wear a Space Invaders hoodie.  

While waiting for his guests to arrive (oilmen, sheiks, Darth Vader), he’d never curl up on the couch to write his secret dreams down in a faux-woodgrain or  cutey-retro lovebirds notebook by International Arrivals (I wish I hadn’t ruined the world; I wish Hillary didn’t smell so good up close; why didn't it ever work out with Condy?).

He’d never saunter out to his deck to start the grill wearing these: skater-casual Parkers by Clae Footwear.

He’d never man his barbecue wearing a Bazura bags apron made from old billboards.

He’d never tong cubes for his crony’s bourbon and water from this ice bucket (it’s faux wood made by Rubbermaid; see top photo).

He’d never vacuum potato chips off the rug later with a pink Dyson vacuum that helped benefit the fight against breast cancer, even if it’s sold exclusively by Target and his kids told him the store was American and all right.

He’d certainly not collapse on the couch that night to watch a Sex and the City rerun and lay his head on this pink and brown silk pillow from SF designer and etsy seller Joom.

And he’d never finally stagger off to sleep in this moderne-baroque bed from brocade home.

Sweet dreams.

Jana Martin is The MOLI View's contributing editor for Fashion & Design.