This is hard for me. You know when anyone says somethinc like this, without a particular dirty context, they’re probably lying. What I’m saying is the equivalent of this is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt, but, ah, you know that’s not true. So, anyway I’m answering a question that Moli View editrix and writertrix Evelyn McDonnell asked via email.

Ev, they suck.

Yup, they suck. They suck. They suck. They suck. What am I talkin’ bout. Yes, some of you might be guessing right. The waterfalls. Or a better way to put this, the “so-called’ waterfalls. Ya know the public art project, currently up in nyc, of man-made waterfalls in the East River.

Look, I basically am one of the dullest people on the planet (also as I’ve shown already one of the most disingenuous -- a word I barely know the meaning of and certainly could not spell without spellerama (spell-check) --, as least for this blog). I have one of those uni-interests that can overwhelm life’s fine varietals (huh?). Like a uni-brow over the visage, my sphere is a spear, thrown bloody and sharply aimed at one target. Art. I don’t even know what it means and it means so much to me. (“I wanna know what art means. I want you to show me” – thanks Foreigner.)

Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art.

Yeah, you get it. I don’t have to go on. You know what I’m going to say next.

Art. Art. Art. Art. Art. Art.

So, I’m for this. I’m for this. This thing. This thing. My lovely former Republicon now It-Depends-dent mayor (the only Republicon I’ve ever voted for); I’m for him too. I love this guy. The Playa Maya. He goes away every weekend to his own freaking island. He doesn’t live in Gracie Mansion (the mayor of nyc’s residence) because it’s, wait for it, too small. He reminds me of the Patricia Neal character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Remember, when the writer decides he’s gonna do without his “decorator” she starts to write him a check, and he asks what she’s doing, and she says writing a check, you’ve seen me write checks before. Mayor Bloomberg is like that (I really think he’d be a great VP choice, Florida, Florida, Florida.) So he’s for these waterfalls, and damnit, I’m for him.

But, Ev, they suck.

Note to selves when makin’ art: sunsets, babies’ bottoms, the insides of thighs of brunettes, and oh yeah, especially, waterfalls. They’re great places to visit, but, ah, basically that.