I could start off this by doing my usual hemmering and hawing. You see I already am. I’m concerned ‘bout my incredible naiveté. My insane optimism (there, that’s my autobiography title, now what’s my “stripper name”). Sometimes I feel I have the sophistication of a uni-celled organism, there’s hay stickin’ outta my ass (hey!). I’m so corny, I’m ethanol. But as the contest for the Democratic Nomination for the President of the United States seems about settled, I would like to take this moment to say something to the candidate who finished a very (very) strong second. I’d like to say ... wait I’ll say it at the end.

First, I’d like to mention again that John McCain is not my friend (he keeps addressing us all the time as his “friends.”) Now, we know who his friends are, fatcats. He should begin his speeches, “my friends, my fatcats.” This guy is really the weakest general election candidate the American Tories, the Republicons have put up in three decades. All he is is a liberal Republicon who’s against abortion. Oooooh, that’s a scary coalition he’s gonna build. The Thought-Bots of the Conserveyourightatives have pointed out over the years, that some working-class voters don’t so much vote against their economic interests but vote for their cultural ones (I think it’s a good point, rich liberal democrats like FDR or Warren Buffet do the same thing). Yes, the Republicon party moved South over the last half-century and emphasized certain “values”, but it never altered its foundation in money, business, land, oil and Wall St. (nothinc against money, business, land, oil and Wall St. jus’ sayin’). McCain has the same foundation, but the slip is showing, he does not have the values down. He’s a Rockefeller from Arizona. He’s the one that needs the Reagan Democrats, and he’s not going to get them, like uh, Reagan did. There’s gonna be some more Democrat Democrats this year. The only thing he can try is the war, and the war ...

It’s an interesting question whether there is ever only one factor in anything (I myself, really, you, yourself?, have liked the idea in the past of “many factors”). But I think for all the all and everythinc of this election, there has been one factor. In the upcoming general election, the one candidate who is really against the war in Iraq, will be up against the one candidate who is really for the war in Iraq.

And this is the reason Hillary Clinton will not be in that election. Having said that, I’d like to say what I was going to say at the beginning. This is typical Mike Tyler style to fill up on a couple words with not really what the thing was gonna be ‘bout, but then jus’ sorta say it. But, ya know whatever. Here’s what I wanna say to my Senator from New York; nyc boi was proud to vote for you in the Democratic primary, just like I will be proud to vote for the next President of the United States, Barack Obama in November.

Hillary, thank you.