Posts: 46

1. 

   Saab 9-3 Sportwagon – I Say

   18.Aug.08, 15:35 EDT
   
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   Once upon a time all of us were pubescent teenagers with dreams of being like Mick Jagger or Blondie, simultaneously pondering what flashy sport cars would best suit our non-conformist crazy lives. Unfortunately, for many of us those dreams didn’t materialise. In short, life gets in the way of owning 2-seater coupes and stylised convertibles.
   
   Fortunately, the need to compromise practicality with image needn’t be laden with dread. It seems car designers are beginning to realise their cars are, for the most part, going to be driven by people with little people who need to be dropped off at school, by people trapped in the real world, that is, for people who use their cars as a way of life, not for pulling up outside Leicester Square at movie premieres.
   
   Perhaps with this in mind, the amiable, sense driven Swedes have unveiled the new Saab 9-3 Sportwagon. While some amongst you may still be sensitive to the words sport and Swede appearing in the same sentence (2 years on, it still hurts Sven), it appears the design team have come up with a car that may fit every need. At least that is how it appears on the surface.
   
   First off, this car is a smart, well-proportioned estate. What this sentence doesn’t reveal is how visually impressive the Sportwagon is. It may seem peculiar to say, but this Saab has a confidence about it, an aura even. From behind the wheel things still look good -
   
   Perhaps borrowing from Saab's acumen in airline cockpit design, the dashboard is focused towards the driver, complimented by an interior that is beautifully and ergonomically designed. As well as this, all models have electric seat adjustment, air conditioning and a hands-free phone, while most models provide leather upholstery and cruise control.
   
   When it comes to the matter of space, there is ample room for four adults. The boot is wide and can be enhanced by the capability of lowering the rear seats.
   
   The Saab Sportwagon is available with a choice of five specification levels, Linear, Linear Sport, Vector, Vector Sport and Aero. Seven engine options are available, five petrol and two diesel. Petrol engines include a normally aspirated 1.8-litre unit with 122bhp and three turbo-charged four-cylinder units in 150bhp, 175bhp and 210bhp form. The two diesel units are 1.9 TiD with outputs of 120bhp and150bhp. Top of the range is the new Aero unit with a V6 2.8-Litre engine.  
   
   With the exception of the 120bhp 1.9 TiD, all turbocharged Sportwagons will get you from 0-60mph in less than 10 seconds. Diesels and the 2.8 V6 come with a six-speed manual transmission, other engines have a five-speed manual. Where automatic transmissions are offered, the diesel and the V6 get six-speed gearboxes, while the rest use a five-speed. , while you will
   
   UK on the road prices start at £17,995 and range up to £27,795 for the Aero 2.8T. The best selling model is the Vector 1.9 TiD priced at £22,845. It is expected that the range topping Aero 2.8T will account for between 10 and 15 per cent of SportWagon sales
   
   As with all Swedish cars, safety is a priority. All 9-3 Sportwagons are fitted with ABS with brake assist and electronic brakeforce distribution, cornering brake control and traction control. ESP and ESP Plus stability control systems have been tuned further for quicker and subtler responses.
   
   Now to venture on what’s not so great about this car. The most obvious problem encountered from driving the Sportwagon is its ride and handling. Steering is a lifeless affair, while you will know all about life on a bumpy road. Thankfully, most driving takes place on good smooth roads, and here it has to be said the Sportwagon performs admirably.
   
   In summary, this car retains what all Saabs before it have had: that being a certain je ne sais quoi, a quirkiness, an appeal that can’t quite be labelled. This Saab could be the perfect compromise with none of the usual sacrifice. ‘I drive a Saab Sportwagon’ – not quite rockstar, but it will keep me happy.
    
   By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
   
   

2. 

   Walking On The Moon

   14.Aug.08, 05:54 EDT
   
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   Landing in Iceland, it is easy to mistake your destination for a distant planet, such is the bizarre and beautiful landscape that awaits your weary eyes.
   
   This land has been settled by Vikings and ravaged by violent volcanic explosions since time immemorial; sulphurous lakes have bubbled to its surface and colossal glaciers have carved their way through mountains and plains. Under its fragile crust the continents continuously shift and vie.
   
   Iceland straddles the Mid-Atlantic Ridge, where the European & American continental plates meet. At Thingvellir National Park visitors can see the rift caused by the meeting of the two tectonic plates. If standing on one side you're in North America, if standing on the other you're in Europe, if standing in the middle you're...?
   
   In fact, there's a corner of Iceland that is forever lunar - at least for the Apollo 11 astronauts who trained for their momentous moon flight on the desolate expanses of the island's lava fields at Mount Hekla. Hekla is one of the most active volcanoes in the world and was long believed by many to be the entrance to Hell – hence the phrases "Go to Heck" and "What the Heck?"
   
   Iceland is known as the Land of the Midnight Sun because there are almost 24 hours of daylight during June, July and August. Non-stop fun under the midnight sun occurs when Reykjavik nightlife explodes into a carnival-like atmosphere in the perpetual daylight of summer.
   
   In November 2007 Iceland was named by the UN, "the best country in the world to live in," based on life expectancy, education levels and average household income. The majority of the 272,000 Icelanders live in and around the capital Reykjavik on the South West coast where the gentle buffeting of the Gulf Stream keeps temperatures relatively mild despite the proximity to the Arctic Circle. Winters in Reykjavik are actually warmer than in New York! Reykjavik means 'Smoky Bay' and refers to the geothermic steam that rises from the hot springs beneath the city which have been harnessed to provide warmth and electricity.
   
   There are more than 800 natural hot springs in Iceland. Outdoor hot springs are hidden throughout the countryside and are the ultimate interaction with Iceland's raw nature and a highlight of any trip.
    
   One of the most unusual sites in Iceland is the unique Blue Lagoon geothermal spa. The smoky blue-green waters and white silica mud help revitalize and nourish the skin. Lava caves, steam baths and modern facilities assist in the relaxing yet invigorating experience.
   
   Surprisingly, the most popular sport in Iceland is outdoor swimming in geothermally heated pools - in any weather!  Research has shown that swimming outdoors in hot, thermal water while breathing in clean, fresh air has a positive effect on the heart & respiratory system.
   
   On top of all this, Iceland's Northern Lights or Aurora Borealis is one of nature's most spectacular phenomena. The best conditions to experience the thrill of the Northern Lights: it must be night, a clear sky, and preferably cold. Seeing these "lights" firsthand is arguably the highlight of any trip to Iceland
   
   A quick wander into the craggy interior, you'll be sure to stumble upon Iceland's untethered wild horses. There are over 100,000 Viking horses, many of which are wild and roam the countryside. The purebred horses have not changed since the Vikings rode them 1000 years ago. Importing horses is prohibited and if a horse leaves Iceland it cannot return so that this unique breed is not tampered with.
   
   If horses don't do it for you, anyone for whales? Whale watching is one of the most popular tourist activities in Iceland, and for good reason. Success rates of seeing the world’s largest mammals in their natural habitat are much greater than 95%. The most common whales spotted are the friendly minke whales but also blue whales, humpback whales, sei and fin whales, killer whales and of course a number of dolphins including white beaks and harbor porpoises. The most popular spot for whale watching is from Husavik in the north of the country, which is regarded by many as the ’Whale Watching Capital of Europe.’
   
   Why go to the moon when Iceland has so much to offer? The one trouble with a trip to Iceland is that once you've been, everywhere else pales in comparison.
   
   By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
   
   
   

3. 

   Citroen's Croissant Fix

   06.Aug.08, 16:37 EDT
   
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   It is one of those mornings after one of those nights before. A phrenic flashbulb reminds me to visit my local Citroën showroom. What glee! This week I am set to test-drive Citroën’s C5 Hatchback. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure this car is pacifically Parisian and quaint – exciting, however, isn’t a word that springs to mind.
   
   One of the perks of my job is driving stupidly expensive Italian super cars. On the flipside, I regularly have to re-enter the quotidian world and listen to wily young salesmen sell me the merits of what, in essence, are mass produced soul destroying fleet cars.
   
   It is with this arrogant sore-headedness that I approach the shiny suits of Citroën’s sales team. In no humour to be anywhere other than my ruffled bed, my enthusiasm is lifted immeasurably by the olfactory whiff of nearby croissants. I must be dreaming. Croissants! Pain au Chocolat! All for swinish me.
   
   It is after two chocolat chauds and two (or was it three) almond croissants that I squeeze myself into the wide-bodied C5. This morning is going far better than anticipated. Unashamedly seduced by the butter fix, I am ambling comfortably behind the wheel of Citroën’s range-topping 3.0-litre V6. This bubble-like cabin is competently produced fare, seducing me by the mile. 
   
   Robed in all the gadgetry one would expect of a range-topper, there is one feature that is truly fantastic: Citroën’s Lane Departure Warning System - The idea of this is to wake you up if you fall asleep! While doing more than 50mph, if the car starts to drift left or right, six sensors under the front bumper detect when the car crosses any white lines without the driver signalling. If it picks up any un-indicated wandering, it vibrates either the right or left of the driver’s seat. What decadence!
   
   This ingenious feature is the apex of the C5’s overall safety package. One’s safety is ensured by front, side and curtain airbags. Anti-lock brakes are standard; and new front and rear crumple zones help the C5 attain the maximum 5-star Euro NCAP rating. How much padding I’ll need is a moot point after my emptying of the showroom’s boulangerie!
   
   If Citroën is famous for one thing above all others, it has to be their David Blaine like suspension. As a little nipper I remember being transfixed by the levitation like quality of what seemed to be all Citroëns. An affordable De Lorean is what my Dad used to call them. The latest C5 rides on the latest version of Citroën’s Hydractive suspension, in which gas spheres do the work of steel springs and dampeners -  what this techi blurb translates to is a C5 that cruises along, gently cajoling the occupants over all bumps and blips.
   
   Unfortunately, not unlike croissants, this particular Citroën has its Achilles heel. While the C5 may seem innocent in its appeal, the C5 loses a fat chunk of its value the minute you bob away from the courtyard. After three years, the tasty V6 petrol model will barely fetch one third of its original value. Value, if it is to be found at all, lies with the diesel powered options.  
   
   For all the C5’s prurient allure the C5 simply won't make the grade. While it offers plenty of space and is a true motorway cruiser, its chassis is left behind by more adept rivals. Its mere Frenchness enables the C5 to look the part, but only some hefty cash-back discounts will make this Citroën a truly viable proposition.
    
   
   Price:  £17,595* – £23,095 (*Less £3,000 cash-back)
   Range: 7 petrol and diesel engines (117hp – 210hp)
   Rivals: Ford Mondeo; Volkswagen Passat; Toyota Avensis
   Ideal Driver: Brian Ashton
    
   By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
   
    
   
   
   

4. 

   Romantic Romania

   29.Jul.08, 04:57 EDT
   
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   Some travel destinations, deserving or otherwise, are blessed with what in the tourism trade equates to gold dust: A good reputation. Others have, what can best be described as baggage. For some, a bad press is totally justified. Anyone that has had the misfortune to visit Athens or Mexico City will happily tell you what absolute dumpholes both are. People rave about Greece and Mexico, but their capitals are the victims of a thoroughly different tale.
   
   Recently I decided to take a trip to Romania, a country suffocated in bad press. Were I to have read the press reports, I'd have been left with the impression that Romania was an absolute vacation no-no. The commonly reported factoids about this enigmatic place are, in no particular order, that it is 1) full of orphanages 2) full of gypsies 3) full of stray dogs, and 4) unwelcoming.
   
   No doubt, most of these reports were written by ill-informed people choking on caffeine at faraway desks. Romania, like most Eastern European countries, is slowly emerging from the dark shadow that was full-blown Communism. Twenty four years of brutality from former president, Nicolae Ceausescu, have left their mark on Romanians and on the consciousness of the outside world.
   
   Thankfully, 1989 and the bloody revolution is now in the distant past. Although the Western impression of Romania may have stayed much the same, Romanians have been pushing on, trying to forge a new, brighter identity for themselves. Beyond Bucharest's almost charming Communist infrastructure, is a country so rich in tradition and culture, that any tourist worth their salt should make time to see Romania for themselves.
   
   The further I ventured from the nation's capital, the more I fell in love with this beautiful yet perplexing country, both modern and untouched by the outside world. On one hand are the stunning Saxon towns of Transylvania with their Paris-inspired Palaces; on the other, the incredibly bucolic scene of farmers' horse carts winding a traditional path that time has almost forgotten. Within these contrasting lives, are a people united in their generosity to the wandering traveller. I forget how many times I was helped with directions and offered helpful snippets along the roadside.
   
   My trip highlight was in Brasov, Romania's seventh largest and most popular city. It was in this Gothic-to-its-cobbled-core city that I fell hopelessly in love with Romania. Short on ideas of where to stay, I went to ask some local skateboarders, who incredibly told me to forget about finding a hotel, that I could stay with them at their place. What followed were two of the best days in my travel life - incredible hospitality, supplemented by some fantastic homemade cooking were the recovery points in between days of mountain biking (not for the faint hearted) and  local style partying. Two weeks later, I was still recovering!
   
   As I continued my journey east of the Carpathian mountains and into Moldova, my impression of Romania was so far removed from the pre-conceived Western notion of a struggling, backward looking nation - It was of a Romania that is on the verge of contentment, ready to boast of its beauty and shed all "baggage" that steps in its way.
   
   By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
   
   
   
   
   
   

5. 

   My Dublin Top 5

   27.Jul.08, 09:41 EDT
   
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   As a native of Dublin's fair city, I feel it my duty to help out its many visitors who consistently seem dazed and confused. The dazed factor may well be down to the 15 pints from the night before, but the confusion stems straight out of poor guidebook advice from the likes of Lonely Planet and the Rough Guide.
   
   I often see wandering souls stumbling in and out of some of the city's worst pubs - clichéd tourist traps that play up to a maligned view of this historic city. Without further ado, here's my insider guide to Dublin's top sites:
   
   1) Grogan's Pub, South William Street, Dublin 2
   
   Without doubt, the best "old man's pub" in the city. This bar, which also showcases and sells local artists' paintings, is the least pretentious of Dublin's many public houses. Just remember to leave your camera in the hotel - you will be frowned upon and growled at by the regular set that prop up the bar!
   
   2) Capel Street, Dublin 1
   
   The tour guides tend to concentrate on the commercial centres such as Grafton Street and Dawson Street, but for a real taste of 21st century Dublin, cross the river Liffey to Capel Street, where this city and all its flavours are on best display. Local fruit sellers sit chirplily alongside Chinese run restaurants and African market shops: modern Dublin captured on the one street.
   
   3) The Forty Foot, Sandycove, South County Dublin
   
   Just a twenty minute train journey south is the Forty Foot, a promentory on the southern tip of Dublin Bay, where locals have swam in the nippy Irish sea - all year round - for over 250 years.
   
   Rumours abound as to the name's origins - It may have been called the Forty Foot after the 42nd Highland Regiment of Foot (now known as the Black Watch), a regiment of the British Army, which built a fortress there in 1747 when it was sent over to repulse any possible Napoleonic invasion of Ireland. The fortifications included "the battery", the massive granite walls and the Martello tower.
   
   For literary buffs, James Joyce resided at Martello tower and used it in his novel Ulysses, where one of his characters sets out on the morning of June 16, 1904 from the tower on their Homeric odyssey through Dublin. These features are still extant here.
   
   4) Howth Head, Howth, North County Dublin
   
   To the other side of the city, about a 30 minute train ride north, is Howth, Dublin's one surviving fishing port. Every Sunday, the harbour plays host to a local farmer's market. If you are lucky and the sun is making one of its rare appearances, it is highly recommended to take a stroll around the beautiful cliffs of Howth Head. This leisurely stroll only takes about one hour and offers some of the best views of Dublin and beyond.
   
   5) College Park, Trinity College, Dublin 2
   
   Plum in Dublin's city centre is one of the world's finest universities, University of Dublin, Trinity College. Founded in 1592 by Queen Elizabeth 1, Trinity is a great place to escape the noise of the city. Outside of the many sites is College Park, home to Dublin University Cricket Club. Throughout the summer, it is possible to catch a sleep inducing over or three. Add an ice-cream to your picnic bag and you have the makings of a perfect afternoon.
   
   
   

6. 

   It's My Party...

   25.Jul.08, 10:30 EDT
   
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   There are plenty of reasons to love Sweden, home of the beautiful people with their successful version of socialism and all its resulting freedoms. Unfortunately, as with every country, Sweden isn't short its share of idiots!

   
   

   A heated debate is currently raging in this Scandinavian idyll after an eight-year-old boy's failure to invite two classmates to his birthday bash resulted in a complaint filed with parliament. 

   
   

   Sadly, I'm not making this up. Nearly 200 outraged comments have been posted on the website of the southern Swedish newspaper, Sydsvenskan, just days after the paper reported on the unlikely string of events that followed a young boy's decision to invite all of his classmates to his birthday party - all except two.

   
   

   The typically Swedish policy at the boy's school in the southern town of Lund was that all children (or all the boys or all the girls) had to be invited to parties when their invitations were handed out in class. When a teacher noticed that two children had been left out of a party list, she promptly confiscated all the invitations, according to Sydsvenskan.

   
   

   The school principal said that the ones who were not invited felt "sad and left out." The boy's father meanwhile decided to file a complaint with the Swedish parliamentary ombudsman, insisting his son's rights had been trampled on. No, really! 

   
   

   He told the paper that the two boys in question should not have been surprised that they had not made the guest list. He claimed that one of them did not invite his son to his birthday and the other has bullied his son for six months. He said: "You don't invite your antagonists to a birthday party," adding that he had not been aware of the school policy.

   
   

   He said that his son feels terrible about the situation as no one has the right to confiscate anyone's property in this way. He added that it is just like stealing mail. The parliamentary ombudsman is scheduled to rule in the case on 8 September. Whatever the outcome, the one loser in this adult mess is certain to be an innocent little eight year old.

   
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   By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
   

   
   

7. 

   Aloof Kiev.

   25.Jul.08, 01:31 EDT
   
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   Recently, I had the good fortune, or was it misfortune, to spend a weekend in Kiev. Having returned over a week ago, I'm still unsure as to whether or not I loved or hated the place.

    

   Having previously been dissuaded from making the trek east, due to the convaluted visa process, an anachronism no longer required as of 2007; I wasn't sure what to expect as my plane touched down at Boryspil airport. I was in Moscow three years ago, and as my bus choked its way into the city, the grandeur of Kiev's skyline brought me back to my time in Mother Russia.

    

   Unlike Moscow, Kiev's very big brother, Ukraine's capital has either never heard of tourism, or has, and wants nothing to do with it! Every single road sign is in cryptic cyrillic; there's no such thing as a tourist information centre, and only if you are extremely lucky, will you stumble upon someone that speaks, or is willing to speak English.

    

   For all this outward hostility, Kiev is hugely impressive. Revelling in its hard fought independence, long gone are the communist ideals of socialism; capitalism is the new king of Kiev. The revolution may well have been Orange, but Kiev beats to one colour, that of money. Never in my life have I seen more Bentleys, Rolls Royces and Aston Martins! - Funny Money!

    

   Behind all this glitz and glammer, a chimerical charade that belies a nation bedevilled by poverty, are local markets that hide behind the ostentatious Gucci and Porsche outlets. Within these bustling thoroughfares is a window to the real Ukraine. Fresh, local produce is controlled by bucolic "babushkas." Open air butchers display every imaginable part of the carcass, with tripe seeming to be the top seller! It is at these markets where one can find quick and unhealthy snacks - cheese filled pastries being particularly memorable.

    

   Besides strolling the streets open mouthed, there is no shortage of sights to see. First among these is the gargantuan steel Soviet woman on the banks of the Dnipro river. This contrasts nicely with maydan Nezalezhnasti, the nerve centre of Yuschenko's Orange revolution. These relatively modern attractions are in contrast to the Caves monastery, the spititual heart of the Ukrainian people, with its underground labyrinths, lined with mummified monks. Another snapshot is a leisurely stroll along cobblestoned Andriyivsky uzvis, Kiev's oldest and quaintest street.

    

   Awestruck by its self-assured confidence, confused by its wealth and poverty; leaving Kiev that Sunday, I was completely bewildered. But I get the feeling my confusion would leave the denizens of Kiev quietly happy. I think they revel in the mystery of their beautiful capital.

    

   By Paul Tuthill/MOLI

    

    

8. 

   Golf's Losers

   23.Jul.08, 12:07 EDT
   
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   With these long evenings getting that little bit shorter, the British sporting summer turns from one of excited anticipation into familiar resignation at the perennial absence of a triumphant Briton.
   
   A brief summary of this summer of discontent: In cricket, South Africa gave our boys a lesson in how to convert a winning position; tennis; Murrays's embarrassingly abject defeat to Nadal at Wimbledon, and finally golf, perhaps our one hope at redemption, usurped by a smiling Irishman for the second year running.
   
   It is about time we name and shame the Brit pack of underachieving golfers. Millionaires to a man, ian Poulter, Luke Donald, Justin Rose and Paul Casey have satiated their bank balances, if not their credibility, with a collection of tied for 25th, and worse performances in all of golf's big tournaments.
   
   Much as we listen to BBC's pre-tournament hyperbole about our boys, this bunch of middle class twats, for that's what they are, have about as much winning nous as Jimmy White in a certain Sheffield theatre.
   
   Firstly, there's Ian Poulter - The sole candidate for Britain's Worst Dressed Man, recently claimed that when his game comes together, all tournaments will be shared between himself and Tiger. Oh yeah? I predict we will wait and wait. And wait.
   
   Second on the list is the most likeable of this quartet, Hertfordshire's Luke Donald. This guy can actually play a bit, and were it not for recent injuries and some on course bad luck, may have become the first Brit since Scotland's Paul Lawrie to win one of golf's four Majors.
   
   Third on the list of nugatory underachievers is South African born Justin Rose. Unfortunately, nowhere near as entertaining or talented as the other 'English' South African, KP Pietersen, it would benefit everyone if there were a Room 101 for 'Unwanted  Sporting Failures who claim to be British' - he could talk crap while Greg Rusedski talked a whole different level of crap.
   
   Finally, the least likeable plank of this pointless rant, the equally pointless Paul Casey. This always smiling, never winning twat is why most people hate golf. In every interview, without exception, he manages to transmit a gormless arrogance that makes me want to kick the television. Aren't you supposed to have achieved something, anything, in fact, to walk around as if you crap marble?
   
   These polite losers should get off their home installed sunbeds, and do some bloody practise. Rant over.
   
   By Paul Tuthill/MOLI

9. 

   Let's All go to Albania

   20.Jul.08, 10:25 EDT
   
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   In search of the road less travelled can prove a tricky business. What is one to do when Budapest, the new Prague, becomes as thronged with backpackers as Vietnam, the new Thailand? (or was it the new Cambodia?)
   
   Bringing things closer to home, the recent buzzword in quirky but cool travel is Croatia. Home to the partying port of Pula and Byron's "pearl of the Adriatic," Dubrovnik, it has more than enough to justify its position as Europe's playground.
   
   The problem, however, as with all these diamonds in the rough, is that once their beauty secrets are out, there's no turning back. Croatia is now in danger of descending into the same highrise chaos as its Iberian neighbours. In the end, there are no winners.
   
   It is with this in mind that I tentatively write the next few paragraphs. For the past ten days, I have been lounging in glorious sun drenched isolation. Where I hear you ask? Albania.
   
   Yes, Albania! - but keep it very close to your chest; don't tell your neighbour; don't spout it to your hairdresser - Albania, only recently rid of its hardline communist past, is home to the last deserted beaches in Mediterranean Europe.
   
   With a landscape largely unchanged since the ancient Greeks patrolled these shores, deserted beaches such as Dhermi and Drymades, both only a few hours on the bumpy road from the curious capital, Tirana; one could be forgiven for developing a sudden form of agoraphobia, such is their seclusion and your absolute privacy.
   
   The locals that you do stumble across are very friendly, clearly not used to the sight or concept of tourists. One is as likely to be ignored as approached.
   
   Further south, close to the Greek border, is Saranda, the closest thing Albania has to that dreaded word, resort. At present, it is more a building site than a working resort. With the most appealing waterfront on the Ionian coast, and just a stone's throw from the Greek island, Corfu; Saranda has all the amenities the less solitary traveller may wish for: Hassle free beaches; cheap food with an Italian influence, and accomodation ranging from basic camping to five star la la land!
   
   But get here today, not tomorrow. Soon the roads to these Elysian beaches will be improved to facilitate the package mob and their innocent vices. Soon, Albania will be lost to the lure of the tourist and their Euro.
   
   So if you can swing it, get there before the summer disappears, and Albania will treat you to that rarest of travel gifts: tranquility.
   
   By Paul Tuthill/MOLI

10. 

    The Fall & Fall of Ronaldinho.

    17.Jul.08, 09:09 EDT
    
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    Sometimes the impossible happens, and today,  Ronaldinho, arguably the single most talented player of all time, was booted out the door by Barcelona. How did this all come to pass? How did this genius lose the love that only talent like his can engender? What I'm trying to grasp is how and why Ronaldinho let us, and more importantly, himself down.

     

    When it came down to it, Barcelona would have sold their once prize icon to anyone, even Man City. Fortunately, for Ronaldinho, that embarrassment didn't come to pass. Sentiment and hope have no doubt played a part in AC Milan's willingness to take a risk on this fallen star.

     

    Drifting back in time, it is easy to forget that Ronaldinho was signed by Joan LaPorta, the new president of FCB, only after he failed in his promise to land the much inferior David Beckham. That point was underlined as Barcelona went onto dominate, not only Spanish football, but also to claim the Holy Grail of European football, the Champions League. While Beckham sold shirts, Ronaldinho was playing at a level that few had ever seen, before or since. His brand of football was like a light in the dark; there were moments that will remain etched in our heads forever: his goal at Stanford Bridge, his last minute winner against, of all people, Milan. These were both topped by an incredible brace in the "El Clasico" clash with Madrid in 2005. His second solo screamer was met with a standing ovation by the bewildered Real fans.

     

    Following on from his success in the 2006 Champions League, Ronaldinho went to the World Cup in Germany with golddust in both feet - he was expected to win the tournament single handedly. His destiny, it seemed, was to be simultaneously crowned World Champion, European and World player of the year. As we all know, none of this came to pass.

     

    His virtual no show in the group stages was eclipsed by Zidane's rekindling of greatness in the quarter final. Since that humbling defeat, the magic has disappeared, the belly has expanded, and crucially, his desire seems to have evaporated without trace.

     

    So what have Milan bought? For me, Ronaldinho represents everything that football can be. He is tragic and extreme in equal measure. He may fade into a Maradona like meltdown, but every purist outthere is hoping that his pride kicks in, and that with one swivel of those hips, the dream like football of 2005/6 will return to grace all of us. His talent is the rejection of all that's wrong with football, and how it has been destroyed by tacticians such as Lippi, Mourinho and Benitez. So come on Ronadinho! Shape up and give us hope one last time.

     

    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI

11. 

    A Spider without Venom!

    16.Jul.08, 04:21 EDT
    
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    Global warming means different things to different people. For some of us Brits, the warmest May in over 300 years represents the extremity of human folly. For others it was bloody marvelous! – An opportunity to rediscover the joys of ice-cream; drown some cider and murder some steaks on the trusty rusty bbq.
    

    
    

    Some issues are less divisive. Take the age-old sight of plonkers swanning around in sporty convertibles. A sight so ridiculous and common on these isles, that derision and giggles will soon be replaced by envy related stone throwing.
    

    
    

    Now conjure if you will a potential riposte to these two words: Alfa Romeo. What images flicker? La Dolce Vita, perhaps? The open road? Tuscan Gelateria at sunset? For others it is simpler – one word in fact: Spider
    

    
    

    The four words ‘Spider is Alfa Romeo’, an advertising slogan in use nearly 30 years ago, neatly sum up 50 odd years of Alfa Romeo Spider convertible production. When Italians go topless, the world looks on in awe. Alfa Romeo has built its name, if not a fortune, producing knockout cabriolets, and it has just launched its latest sun-seeking Spider. So, how does this object of beauty sit so comfortably with our British miserabilism. Can our reticence towards these isles climes extend so resolutely to the motoring equivalent of a Petrarchan sonnet?
    

    
    

    The Spider convertible has an important place in Alfa Romeo tradition. It all began in the 1950s with the Giulietta Spider. Alfa’s Giulietta shifted our idea of what a car should be, signaling an abrupt farewell to bland functionality, replacing it with an instant fix, cappuccino like machismo. In short, the Spider offers a different way of life.
    

    
    

    And so production of Alfa Romeo Spiders has continued in an unbroken strand up to the present day, a sign of the importance and awareness of Alfa Romeo’s place in the world of convertibles, i.e. in the world of passion, motor racing, wind and asphalt.
    

    
    

    In time, the Giulietta evolved into the Duetto and the Spider of the 1990s. With each evolution of the theme, Alfa has retained superb styling with the performance of powerful, elastic engines. And the new Alfa Spider is no exception: it has the same ‘essentially simple’ character of a true sports car, combined with the technological superiority of the new Alfa breed.
    

    
    

    Sharing its underpinnings with those of Alfa’s Brera coupé the new Spider hopes to compete with the likes of the BMW Z4 and Audi TT for the hearts and cash of Europe’s lucrative soft-top buyers. That’s a tough challenge but Alfa is bullish about achieving it, an attitude reflected in the price. The new Spider is no cut-price competitor: if you can afford the Spider you can afford the German rivals, and Alfa Romeo clearly believes this car is good enough to compete on a level playing field.
    

    
    

    The Brera is now established in the UK, but its convertible brother has taken longer to emerge. Based on the same platform as the coupé, the Spider shuns a folding hard-top in favour of a conventional fabric hood – just like the new Audi TT Roadster. Prices start at £25,995 for the 2.2 litre and rise to £32,700 for the range-topping V6, complete with QTRONIC automatic transmission.
    

    
    

    If there’s one thing a drop-top needs, it’s desirability – and Alfa Romeo’s new Spider has lots of it. In the metal, the sleek Brera-derived lines look stunning, as does the classic Italian interior styling. Unfortunately, the rest of the package can’t quite live up to this promise. While the range of petrol and diesel engines is strong, the body shakes over bumps and the Alfa can’t match the handling of its Audi TT rival. The Spider is a car people will buy with their hearts, not their heads.

    
    

    Just as well then, as most soft-tops are sold solely based on looks, not price, and in the beauty stakes this Alfa is a stunner. Compared with the BMW Z4’s rather ungainly looks and the Audi TT’s conservatism the Spider is in a different league. Nothing this side of an Aston Martin or TVR has such kerb appeal.
    

    
    

    Vital Statistics:
    

    Model: Alfa Romeo Spider 2.2 JTS
    Cost: £25,995
    Top Speed: 134mph
    MPG: 30.1
    Looks: Complete Knockout
    Verdict: Style 1 Substance 0.
    

    
    

    
    

    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
    

12. 

    All Hail To The Cav!

    13.Jul.08, 07:51 EDT
    
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    Every once in a while, an athlete appears to come from nowhere and simply rewrite the rulebook. The problem with this kind of phenomenon tends to be their nationality - we're always hearing about the next great Jamaican sprinter; the 12 year old Russian girl who is less than a year from winnıng her first WTA event. But where, oh where are the Brits? Not since Wayne Rooney broke his bloody toe in Euro 2004 has the Great British public had a true prodigy to lay claim to. No offence Andy Murray.

     

    In the past few months, however, a cocky little upstart from the Isle of Man has all but secured the much scoffed at BBC Sports personality of the year. In the bag by July, hıs greatest achievement of 2008, in British eyes, will no doubt come thıs August, when he pıcks up a debut gold in Beijing.

     

    I'm sure some of you are still scratching your heads as to who this wunderkind is, but alas,  I'll let you all out of your misery: Mark Cavendish is his name, and very now, he is the hottest property in world cycling, blazing a trail that makes Lewis Hamilton's achievements seem like kidsplay.

     

    So far in 2008, he has walked away with his second title at the UCI Track Word Championships, and two stage wins on his debut at the Giro d'Italia were followed up this week by two further wins in the greatest bike race around, the Tour de France. Even non-cycling buffs know this kind of achievement isn't very British.

     

    Right now I can see some of you saying what claptrap, and proudly mentioning the likes of Boardman and Wiggins. What İ would counter with is that their fame relates almost exclusively to their Olympıc golds, which in cold reality is the cycling equivalent of a footballer winning Olympic gold. The real prize in both sports is elsewhere, and everyone involved knows it. 

     

    Though Cavendish, as a sprint specialist, never has a chance to win the Tour de France outrıght, for that you need to be able to scale Alpine skı resorts at 30mph; as a sprinter, he can dominate theır golden nugget, the maillot vert for the next fıve years at least. 

     

    To put this kind of talent into perspective, this year, the only other athlete, that is doing anything quite like our own Manx man, ıs the Matador Majorcan, Nadal. While British eyes seem to think the tennis season lasts only two weeks in July, similarly they'll view 'Cavs' inevitable Olympic success as the apex of his year. But as he'll know, and more importantly, his rivals will too; his imprint on the brutal world of professional cycling was made at 70mph ın Brıttany: Twice!

     

    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI

     

     

13. 

    Rugby Players caught in a Scrum

    11.Jul.08, 04:47 EDT
    
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    Anyone who has ever played a team sport knows full well the meaning of the expression, 'What goes on tour stays on tour!' This rule of thumb is the catlyst for many a weekend of absolute carnage, the length and breath of Britain. 
    
    Thankfully, our anonymity tends to keep our multitude of mindless misdemeanours out of the way of our loved ones, or worse stıll, out of the newspapers and public eye! Some of us, however, are not so fortunate.
    
    As far as the fame game goes, there are few natıonal teams in world sport as completely off the  Heat magazine radar as the Austrian rugby team. All that changed overnight, however, one nippy nıght in the beautiful Baltic old town of Vilnius.
    

    
    This particular bunch of burly louts tried to get over their 48-0 defeat by lofty Lithuania, no less,  in a unique, ıf trıed and tested fashion: namely, by staging a mass striptease in the capital Vilnius, only for their hıghland highjinks to have been caught on video and put on the Internet.

    
    

    The video (http://youtube.com/watch?v=<wbr>pR9l2e5wPaw</wbr>), was shot by a startled onlooker and then taken up by the Lithuanian news portal Delfi, shows a group of 20 men singing and stripping off their clothes on a street in central Vilnius, while people in a nearby bar clap and cheer.

    
    

    Not all connected to the scene of the crıme were so enamoured, 'Yes, these were the men we played against on Saturday... I guess the defeat could have prompted them to do that,' said a far too sober Lithuanian rugby federation President Aleksandras Makarenka.

    
    

    Delfi quoted the Vilnius police chief as saying stripping in public could be considered an act of hooliganism, but by then the Austrian team had sobered up and gone home to their wives, and one hopes, given the scoreline, a few more training sessions!
    
    What next, I wonder, for this bunch of Alpine line dancers - a place on Bıg Brother? a photo shoot with OK Magazine? Such moments of infamy can do far more for a man than dent theır prıde. The world is theır proverbıal oyster! Make that twenty small oysters!
    
    
    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
    

14. 

    One Way to Avoid the Airport!

    07.Jul.08, 03:03 EDT
    
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    World renowned Swiss wing-suit flyer Ueli "Sputnik" Gegenschatz, who recently base jumped from the iconic Eiffel Tower in Paris, travelled to the west coast of Ireland over the June bank holiday weekend to complete a unique project.

     

    Daredevil "Sputnik" flew unaided, a distance of 17.6km - the longest flight ever recorded in a wing-suit - gliding from above the edge of beautiful Inis Mor over Galway bay to Connemara regional airport near Inverin in county Galway. Sputnik also beat the flight time of the Aer Arann Islander passenger aircraft, which travels this route daily in seven minutes, by a full 75 seconds.

     

    In order to complete the distance, Sputnik needed to exit his skydiving aircraft at an altitude of 4,500 metres. He flew across the Atlantic waters at an average speed of 250km/hr with the aid of a strong tailwind. The passanger aircraft, with a top speed of 193km/hr, took off from Inis Mor airstrip, cruising to an altitude of 200 metres as Sputnik exited his aircraft high above the island.

     

    Sputnik released his parachute 200 metres above the mainland before touching down on the runway at Connemara Regional airport, clocking a time of 5 miins 45 sec. "I was fortunate to have very strong tailwinds on the day which increased my chances of making the long distance. It enabled me to reach an average speed of 250km/hr and make the crossing. I was happy not to land in the ocean as I've heard the Irish waters are very cold!"

     

    Sputnik has been on a global quest to find the most challenging terrains of the world to traverse in his specially designed wing-suit. His adventures have brought him to the Matterhorn in the Swiss Alps, Popocatepelt in Mexico and now to the Aran Islands on Ireland's stunning Atlantic coast.

     

    Using a Garmin GPS tracking device on his wrist, Sputnik transmitted data back to his laptop on the ground which calculated his top and average speed during the race.

    
    

15. 

    Dry County: A Band on the Move

    04.Jul.08, 10:50 EDT
    
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    Following their nomination for a Choice Music Award this year, Dry County came home from a UK tour to play a one off headliner gig at Dublin's venue of choice, Whelan's. Supported by the arrestingly good The Eclectic and Cars In Walls, this night proved to be one of pure electro-rock excellence!
    
    Dry County released their debut album 'Unexpected Falls' in May 2007 after three years of blood, sweat and tears. It is the band's second release following on from their 2004 EP, 'Nothing Stays In Place', which has continued to sell over the intervening period.
    
    After recording the best part of an album, the band jettisoned most of the material due to a rapid progression in their sound and dynamic, the wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth continued with still no record to release and a growing fan base wondering why. May 2007 saw the album reaching the light of day and sounding like the record Dry County always knew they were meant to release. This slow burning gem has proven to be one of the most interesting Irish releases of the past few years.
    
    'Unexpected Falls' crossbreeds a love of songs and a passion for electronic and dance music, the natural and the mechanical mixed and combined. The fabric of the album is constructed from guitars, Nord Lead 2, Microkorg, Piano, Auto Harp, Mellotron, live drums (some built from buckets and boxes), various other computers and machinery and of course the lead vocals of lyricist Kevin Littlewood, backed mainly by Phil Porter, Stuart Flood and Joanne Parle but with the help of quite a few other voices along the way.
    
    The lead single 'Attention', has a chorus featuring twelve of the band's closest disciples. Both the single and album were recorded in a number of locations according to the required sounds and appropriate atmosphere.
    
    The bands' influences range from Nine Inch Nails to Boards of Canada or on the guitar side, Ride to Deus, with an inherent drive to create a sound that is far more than imitation or tribute.
    
    According to lead vocalist Littlewood, the album title refers to the setbacks and accidents of living life and of making music: "A streak of melancholy runs through what is ultimately a celebration of life and of sound. The struggle serves to make stronger, achievement is nothing without effort and pain. Like the song 'Stop Proceed' says, it is what you make it, not what it made you."
    

    
    The band have been regular players in Ireland over the past two years, doing a number of their own tours and playing with and supporting the likes of God Is An Astronaut and  Messiah J & The Expert. Catch them live at next weekend's Oxegen festival
    
    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI

     

16. 

    Say “Guten Tag” to BMW's latest baby cabriolet.

    03.Jul.08, 04:43 EDT
    
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    Download the original attachment

    
     

    Those Germans have done it again, and no, I’m not talking about their irritating and inevitable progress at Euro 2008. BMW, those giants of the motoring world have unleashed another gem, the 1 Series Convertible. BMW believes the 1 Series has the right look and the right price to appeal to a younger group of motoring acolytes. 
    
     
    

    BMW has positioned the 1 Series convertible between the hugely popular Mini convertible and the recently introduced 3 Series convertible, providing it with a formidable five-model range of top-down cars that also includes the 6 Series convertible and Z4 roadster. For the record, BMW will sell around 13,500 Convertible models in the UK this year. 
    
    
    

    Folding hardtops have become the fashion in upscale convertibles like the 2007 BMW 3 Series Convertible, as carmakers attempt to add a measure of all-weather utility and overnight security to the traditional convertible formula. But naturally the more affordable BMW 1 Series Convertible has an electrically operated fabric top which folds compactly into the rear deck beneath a hard tonneau cover. 
    
    
    

    BMW says the electrically operated roof can be opened and closed in 22 seconds at the press of a button. This isn't the quickest time on the convertible market, but it's certainly a best-in-class effort and speedy enough to get the job done at a traffic light. (It's also as quick as the effort from the 2007 BMW hardtop convertible can manage.) The 1 Series top can also be operated at speeds up to 25 mph. Even with the roof down you would be hard-pressed to tell the difference between the way the coupe and convertible drive. With the roof up there is a little wind rustle, though engine and road noise are kept well suppressed. 
    
    
    

    The top will be available in the usual beige and black colours, but there's also an optional anthracite scheme that incorporates metallic fibers in the weave of the fabric. It creates a shiny appearance that BMW hopes will find an audience among buyers seeking something out of the ordinary. 
    
    
    

    Prices start at the £22,000 mark, which looks pricey when you consider that the larger Volkswagen Eos costs from around £20,000. But the 1 Series Convertible is a great all-round package - good to drive, refined and classy. An added bonus for buyers is that it even ticks a few boxes when it comes to being green and cost effective to run. 
    
    
    

    1 Series Convertible gets the pick of BMW's small engines, ranging from the 118i, through to the 120i and 125i and the range-topping (and obscene) 135i. There's even a diesel option - the 120d - which has up until now been fairly unusual to find in a small, upmarket convertible. The 125i is one of the most popular petrol options - and with good reason. It's a smooth 3.0-litre engine with 215bhp on offer and comes with a six-speed gearbox. A great all-rounder, it's as happy in town as it is driven briskly on the open road. The diesel is not only swift, but economical too. Drivers can expect fuel economy of between 50-55mpg, with average fuel economy of 55.4mpg and CO2 emissions of just 134g km. 
    
    
    

    Continuing with the green feel, if there can be such a thing in a petrol run car, all models feature a new, clutched air conditioning pump. When not in use, the pump decouples and uses only 200 watts, or ten per cent, of the normal power needed to drive a conventional pump. In addition, other than the range-topping 135i Convertible, all models feature electronic power steering. In contrast to conventional hydraulic power steering, the 1 Series’ electronic system operates on an ‘on demand’ basis, reducing engine output normally needed to power the steering hydraulics. 
    
    
    

    All four-cylinder manual gearbox cars feature BMW’s Auto Start-Stop system as standard. In urban traffic, when the gear is deselected and the clutch pedal raised, the engine automatically cuts out, thus eliminating emissions and any fuel consumption while static. When the traffic starts moving, the clutch is depressed in order to select the gear to pull away and, immediately, the engine fires back into life. 
    
    
    

    The exterior of the new 2008 BMW 1 Series is hit-and-miss, but few can argue that the interior sports a wonderfully functional and well-styled cockpit. The dash is, as you’d expect, well laid out. The switches are logically placed and the interior oozes quality. Every car gets an engine stop/start button instead of twist key ignition - it gives the 1 Series a real sense of occasion. 
    
    
    

    BMWs used to have a reputation for being stingy with standard equipment and offering nearly everything as an option. Not so with the 1 Series - everything you'd expect to find on a car of this type and price is there. Key options that will make life on board more comfortable and add value when you sell are electric seats, sports seats, and park distance control and satellite navigation.
     
    
    

    As far as safety goes, a key issue, especially in convertibles, the 1 Series Convertible is very well kitted-out with six airbags as standard. Should the car roll, then sensors trigger rollover hoops, that pop-up in the blink of an eye - much in the same way as airbags work. 
    
    
    

    So far, some 100,000 people have signed up to receive information about the 1 Series on BMW's web site, and BMW executives are hoping that the 2009 BMW 1 Series Coupe and 2009 BMW 1 Series Convertible will create the same excitement that the introduction of the Mini aroused. 
    
    
    

    Should you buy one? Yes, No, Maybe. Convertibles are never about practicality; they're about the wind in your hair and sun on your cheeks, and if those are the things that set your heart atwitter, the 1-series convertible begins to look like a good bet. Unfortunately, sunshine on this fair isle is as unpredictable as the wind. 
    
     
    

    Vital Statistics 

    Prices -  £22,335 - £32,415

    Rivals -  Audi A3 Cabriolet; VW Eos; Volvo C70; Ford Focus CC.

    Ideal Driver -  Davina McCall
    
    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI

17. 

    Teeing it up with Timberlake

    30.Jun.08, 11:44 EDT
    
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    This week, representatives from the PGA Tour announced that starting on October 13, 2008, Justin Timberlake would become the 14th celebrity host for a PGA Tour stop. The weeklong Las Vegas event will be renamed the "Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open." Justin, who is an avid golfer, is scheduled to compete in the celebrity Pro-Am and perform a concert during tournament week. Past celebrity PGA Tour hosts have included Bing Crosby, Sammy Davis Jr., Bob Hope and Frank Sinatra.
    
    Timberlake said he "couldn't be more excited" about his plans to make the event "unique and memorable." The four-time Grammy winner previously participated in the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am and said, "Raising money to better children's lives while playing golf? I can't think of a better way to pass the time."
    
    "Justin is a very keen golfer," says a source close to the Sexyback star. "And he's playing to a very high standard now. His aim it to take it into a pro event just for a tournament or two. He practices every day, has a coach and takes his clubs wherever he goes." Golf nut Justin, who is a member of Los Angeles' exclusive Sherwood Country Club, is determined to fulfil his ambition before he is 30 and is practicing as much as possible.
    
    At last year's Open Championships, Justin was mobbed on a Scottish golf course as he tried to enjoy a quiet 18 holes. A spokesman for Carnoustie Golf Links said: "With it being a public course, there was no way of keeping fans away from him like you could at a private course. So as soon as he was spotted, lots of young girls and kids came to see him."
    
    Justin has revealed he follows rocker Alice Cooper's tour philosophy: either drink all day or play golf. He expanded: "Golf gives you something to look forward to the next day. It's easy to fall in love with it. You have a lot of time on these tours. As Alice said, you can either drink all day or golf. I was never into partying as a way of life, so I got into golf. It's easy to fall into a pattern of staying out all night if you're finishing up a show around midnight. The golf gives you something to look forward to the next day.”
    
    As proof of his passion, Timberlake has bought the golf course his dad taught him to play the sport on to save it from developers. Playing off a handicap of six, he confesses he only "got into" the sport six years ago, when he was 20 - but the childhood trip to the Memphis, Tennessee course inspired him to rescue it from being turned into apartments.
    
    Timberlake told talk show host Jay Leno, "My dad taught me to hit a golf ball on this course, when I was 12 years old. They were going to auction it off and turn it into a development, so we swooped in and got it." The singer is currently battling his mother's plans to name the course after the famous family, adding, "My mom wants it to be called 'Timberlake Trails' or something like that."
    -
    Timberlake's net worth is estimated in the hundreds of millions and he's currently turning his successful run as a solo artist into a stab at screen stardom. He has three movies coming out this year, one in which he co-stars with Christina Ricci and another featuring the The Rock and Sarah Michelle Gellar.
    
    In spite of all this legitimate fame, he may be even better known for tearing off Janet Jackson's top in that Super Bowl “wardrobe malfunction.” Time will tell whether golf stardom can be added to the “JT” CV. I, for one, wouldn’t put my house, let alone my garden shed on it.
    
    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
    
    
    
    

18. 

    Shetland Island breaks away from UK, EU

    28.Jun.08, 08:14 EDT
    
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    While Europe’s politicians wrestle with Ireland's future in the EU, the owner of one Shetland island is certain: He wants out.
    
    Stuart Hill, sole owner and resident of a 2.5 acre island off Scotland, declared his independence from the UK last weekend, saying he wanted the territory to be a crown dependency like the Channel Islands.
    
    He named his island Forvik in honour of the Shetland's Scandinavian past. Mr Hill, also known as 'Captain Calamity', cited a centuries-old royal marriage dowry deal between King Christian of Denmark and King James III of Scotland as the basis for his claim.
    
    'Forvik recognises neither the British government, nor the European Union as its superior. Because of Shetland's unique history, there can have been no legal basis for Shetland to have been involved with either,' Mr Hill wrote on his website.
    
    The 65-year-old has lived in the Shetland Islands since 2001 when his boat capsized there during an unsuccessful attempt to circumnavigate Britain.
    
    While he has been living in a tent on the storm-battered island, he plans to create Forvik's own currency (1 'gulde'=price of gold x 0.13), print his own stamps and raise his own flag.
    
    The Forvik flag uses as its background the white cross on blue background of the Shetland Flag. This is to emphasise the fact that Forvik is intended to provide a model on which Shetland could work. The shield contains the rampant lion of Norway (without crown), holding aloft a legal scroll. The motto 'Með løgum skal land biggja' is that used by the Shetland Islands Council. It is in Old Norse and means 'With laws the land will be built'. It is appropriate for Forvik, since the whole basis of the project is to assert the correct legal situation, which the SIC signally fails to do.
    
    According to Mr Hill's studies of the history of the island, in 1669 King Charles II re-confirmed Shetland's status at the time of the pawning, meaning the islands remained directly answerable to the crown. His website, in the most articulate rant I’ve read for sometime, outlines Hill’s major gripe:
    
    ‘For those who do not know, in the 15th century, Shetland was part of Norway. The Norwegian King Christian’s daughter was to marry King James III of Scotland and James was to receive a substantial dowry of 8,000 gold florins. At the appointed time Christian was unable to come up with the money, so he pawned Shetland to James until he, or his successors could produce the cash. James was only holding Shetland in trust until the money was forthcoming and consequently had very limited rights. Although the money was offered on many occasions, James and his successors always managed to evade the issue and hang on to Shetland by various subterfuges. Two hundred years later, in 1667, the plenipotentiaries of Europe confirmed that the pawning document was still valid in full force and that therefore the Scottish Crown could not claim the ownership necessary to incorporate Shetland into the realm. Shetland remained the personal responsibility of the Crown, but with very limited rights.
    
    ‘A further two years later, in a remarkable and little referenced Act of Parliament, Charles II re-confirmed Shetland’s status at the time of the pawning. He made Shetland ‘directly dependent upon His Majesty’, made it a Stewartry, directly answerable to the Crown and made it impossible for Parliament to change that position.
    
    ‘Nothing has happened since to change that situation and the pawning document is recognised as the basis of Shetland’s constitutional relationship with the UK. Those in power would like us to believe that Shetland somehow became part of Scotland - although nobody can provide a date when it happened. They would like us to believe that Shetland is part of the EU – even though Shetland voted to come out and there was no legal basis for it to be in anyway. They would like us to believe that the UK government had the right to use Shetland’s rich fisheries as a bargaining chip for the UK to enter the EEC. They would like us to believe that the UK government had the right to appropriate the seabed around Shetland to extract the oil. They would like us to believe that the Crown has the right to charge rents for the use of the seabed around Shetland – knowing full well that no such legitimate claims existed. In short, Shetland’s true position is an embarrassment to the UK government and Crown and its true history must be suppressed.
    
    'By declaring Forvik a crown dependency I am simply re-establishing the correct legal relationship between this part of Shetland and the crown.'
    
    Mr Hill said he had written to the Queen offering his services as 'steward' and recognising her as head of state.
    
    If all goes to plan, 'There will be no income tax, VAT, council tax, corporation tax, or any of the other taxes instituted by the British government. I also invite anyone from any country in the world, who supports these aims, namely to become free of liars, thieves and tyrants in government, to become a citizen of Forvik,' he added.
    
    Sound good? Citizenship forms are available on his website (forvik.com) where he says he has been 'swamped' by the response. One square metre land plots will be available once he gets 'a safe landing area'.
    
    Prices:
    
    Landowning citizenship: 2 Forvik Gulden
    Honorary citizenship: 1 Forvik Gulde
    
    The Gulde is a gold-backed real currency. 1 Gulde is about £60 sterling. There are 100 groats in a Gulde. One groat is about £0.6.
    
    
    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
    

19. 

    Russia Out On Their Arshavin

    26.Jun.08, 17:09 EDT
    
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    Before last night's Euro 2008 semi-final, who'd have thought two chaps, with the naughty monikers of 'Arse Shaving' & 'Jerk Off' would be the players of this summer's football fest? I am, of course, cheekily referring to Yuriy Zhirkov and his Russian teammate Andrei Arshavin. Only true football geeks can claim to have known much about these two starlets before these championships started, but like David toppled Goliath, they have been symbiotically plotting the downfall of the mighty Dutch and eh, Swedish hierarchies.
    
    The real story of these championships hasn't been, as predicted, Ronaldo or Benzema, but the “joie de vivre” of Russia's football, exemplified by the Cafu like Zhirkov and Prosinecki like Arshavin. Given last night's abject showing, it might prove to be a classic case of footballing hyperbole, but Arshavin's displays, in particular, have evoked a collective purr from the footballing fraternity. He made Wenger gasp; Zidane smile; he, up until yesterday, made us all remember what a truly beautiful game football can be.
    
    Last night, however, the mantle of tournament superstar firmly shifted to Wenger's finest acquisition, Spain's Cesc Fabregas. Enjoying his performance last night was uncannily like watching a younger Paul Scholes in his pomp at Man Utd.
    
    The only stumbling block now between Spain and European glory is the German machine. For many British neutrals, however, that result is largely irrelevant, so long as the Germans lose! Germany may have the weight of history behind them, but Spain has Fabregas. Vamos España!
    
    
    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI
    
    
    

20. 

    Chrysler’s 300C – Simply Chavtastic

    23.Jun.08, 16:40 EDT
    
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    It's official. Pirate Posh and Conquistador Becks have left these shores. New money has had enough of sanguine Spain and is off to chase the big bucks in the La La world of Hummers and Scientology.

    
    

    Europe's most recent disposal of unwanted 'culture' has left a precipitous hole in our otherwise full lives. Pre-palpitations, it is a relief to see the gung-ho US of A softening our vacuum by trading us a shiny, blingtastic replacement for our Becks. The honchos at Chrysler have deigned upon our pernickety eyes a car-cum-tank that is David Beckham reincarnate.

    
    

    If Becks were a car you could fondle, he would surely be the chesty Chrysler 300c. This effigy of decadence has been clogging our streets, not to mention our atmosphere, for several months now. Available in a 6.1- litre 2-fingered salute to the environment, this is the gangsta wannabes, city bonus boys’ callow wet dream. This poor man's Bentley will certainly turn the Jimmy Choo's of many an aspiring WAG. This car, one feels, is more John Terry than Jonny Wilkinson, a stamping two footed lunge at the Notting Hill boys in their vintage Mercs.
    

    
    

    There is no mistaking Chrysler’s assault on Germany’s domination of the luxury saloon market. The 300c’s sheer presence is enough to strike fear in many a Bavarian stakeholder. Albeit, not a Mercedes stakeholder. As of 1998, Chrysler and Mercedes have been singing from the same song sheet. Daimler-Chrysler is the brain behind the giant 300c, whose platform is based on the old Mercedes E-Class. Perhaps this explains how the 300c is able to demolish its rivals in terms of price. Chrysler isn’t priced alongside executive models, but the junior execs sitting below them in the range. The sensible 3.0-litre diesel V6 doesn’t compete on price with the BMW 530i SE, but the 330d SE. Indeed, even the 3-Series costs more than it. Audi fares no better, where, for the same money as a full spec 300c, you’ll only be able to sample a lowly four-pot 2.0-litre TDI A6, in base spec.
    

    
    

    So is it worth it? That all depends on whether or not you’re the type to be bothered by scoffing toffs sniffling at your champagne Charlie chav mobile. On the other hand, if it’s bling bling look at me that floats your boat – hop in and enjoy the scorn.
    

    
    

    Vital Statistics:
    

    
    

    Model: Chrysler 300C 3.0 V6 CRD Saloon
    Cost: £26,250
    Top Speed: 143mph
    MPG: 34.9
    Looks: Posh it is Not
    Verdict: A wake-up call to German domination.

    
    

    By Paul Tuthill/MOLI