Posts: 12

1. Just Write Already

   14.Apr.08, 17:10 EDT
   
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   A new friend (Campo Madrone) gave me a good kick in the pants today. I had sent him a note mentioning how much I enjoyed his work and in particular his recent blog on Uncle Percy. A return email soon followed sharing a bit of insight on Uncle P and his generation of cowboys who understandably are old dogs not anxious to learn new computer tricks.
   
   As sign off to his email Campo Madrone, former Proessor / motivator that he is, questioned why I had not written in a while and challenged me to again pick up the pen and pencil...well, mouse anyway. Clearly he hadn't seen the photos of me with new baby girl or read that I fly thousands of miles per year as VP of Sales or that my demanding social scheulde requires witty banter over platters of sushi (I'm guessing raw fish probably is not big in Central Texas with ole Uncle P and his croanies) and that I CANNOT POSSIBLY have the time to WRITE!
   
   And then I did...for as Campo knows writing is a dish best served daily and my good senses were reminded that it is just as easy to pen something moderately amusing as it is to email back an excuse as to why you cannot. Perhaps the next blog will even be mildly entertaining and you will just have to tune back into "Joe Chicago" on moli to find out.
   
   Campo Madrone please thank Uncle P for me because in a roundabout way he is the reason the words are back in play. Cheers!
   
   

2. O Brian, Where Art Thou?

   22.Oct.07, 09:26 EDT
   
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   I lost a close friend several months ago. Actually, I did not lose him as much he was taken from us...39 years years old and one of the true good guys...just does not make sense. Brian was a mountain of a man physically and Heaven help you if you crashed into him on the hoops court. His sense of humor was sharp and he did a dead on Dr. Evil impersonation...man could he make me laugh. But it is his kindness and giving nature that I will miss most of all...simply put he was a better man than I and he made me want to improve on a daily basis.
   
   Over the past four months since Brian lost his fight to cancer I have felt him in the room on several occasions. Typically it triggers from a sound (cracking open of a brew) or a song (Rock Lobster) or a symbol (NY) but his presence is definitely felt and it gives me the shivers. My spiritual compass has been out of whack the past two or three years and perhaps Brian is sticking around simply to let me know something comes next. Or maybe it's like Wisconsin ("you zip in, you zip out) and he just cruises back when the New York Football Giants are on the TV or I've got Bubba Burgers on the bbq.
   
   Either way I know he is playing power forward for God, Buddha, Mohammed and the "good guys" and can only pray that they will need a 3-point shooting guard when my time comes. Our run together was far too short and I want to win five or six in a row again together before giving up the court. Brian delivers the "W" and cracks you up in the process...I cannot wait to see him again.

3. The Road

   10.Aug.07, 10:47 EDT
   
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   Art moves us, inspires us and opens our minds. Great art even has the power to change lives and the novel The Road by Cormac McCarthy just did so for me. The Road is a post-apocalyptic tale describing a journey taken by a father and his young son and is so intense and mesmerizing you are liable to have your heart literally broken.
   
   However if you are like me you will finish the last page of The Road and realize how much you love this world and appreciate the beauty we take for granted. Buy this book, read it and then go hug your wife, husband, partner, son, daughter, best friend and dog. Mr. McCarthy has given us a gift in The Road and I challenge you to not look at life differently after you complete this work of art.

4. On the Road

   21.May.07, 20:58 EDT
   
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   I just finished Jack Kerouac's On the Road. I've been meaning to read that book for years and years as it is considered an American classic right in line with the likes of Catcher in the Rye, Of  Mice and Men and The Great Gatsby.
   
   Man, that Kerouac cat could flat out blow (a little "beat" talk for ya). I devoured his 308 page classic in three days, staying up til the wee hours a couple of nights cruising across the country with his protagonists Sal and Dean. On the Road is simply a stunning work of literary art and yet again reminded me that all my talent would not even fit into the little toe of a guy like Kerouac, Salinger or Fitzgerald. Oh well, at least I still have a shot at gaining my 15 minutes by writing a really crappy sitcom for Fox!

5. I cried

   23.Apr.07, 17:36 EDT
   
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   I cannot recall the last time I cried. Pretty sad actually but I simply am not a crier...until April 16. The shootings at Virginia Tech and loss of such promising young life was just more than I could process or understand. My heart cried for the brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, mothers and fathers that were taken that day. Peace to them and their families.

6. What I Like

   14.Apr.07, 22:30 EDT
   
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   I like fast cars and fast women. No wait a minute, that's not me. What I truly like are intimate gatherings in venues with texture, open minded people with something intelligent or at least witty to say, a great bottle of Pinot and the magical possibilities that emerge when you combine the three.
   
   I also like peanut butter. A lot.

7. Roman Get Together

   03.Apr.07, 19:42 EDT
   
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   Happened to catch the finale of Rome on HBO last week and was treated to a scene featuring a good old fashioned Roman orgy. I must confess the visuals were riveting television and I caught myself thinking "I will try anything once".
   
   However, let's be realistic...what are the chances of a true blue Roman orgy occurring this day and age? For starters,  who has the time? The typical Roman orgy could play out over days and days and that would require burning vacation time or at the very least concocting a pretty cunning excuse for multiple sick days
   
   Secondly, the cost today is simply too prohibitive. What's the going rate on a weekly rental of an Egyptian palace stocked with a full bar and live band? And don't get me started on the oriental rugs and throw pillows needed for floor cover. The average Pier One credit card would max out well before you took care of all the comfort needs of 300 close and personal "guests".
   
   But the main reason I just cannot see a Roman orgy happening today is the internet. Sure, one day you are in the palace making merry with Mark Anthony, Cleopatra and an assortment of colorful nobles and concubines and the next week your picture is plastered all over somebody's MySpace page. No thanks Caesar. When  the time comes for this young man to announce his candidacy for Mayor of Chicago the last thing I need is a digital  skeleton rearing it's orgy head. I will just have to rely on HBO to deliver the thrills as I dive into a new season of Entourage and live vicariously through Johnny Drama, Turtle, E and Vince!

8. Squirrel on my head

   28.Mar.07, 21:56 EDT
   
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   I was walking along a path by the lake near my house the other day and a squirrel landed on my head. Literally, a squirrel fell from a tree and stuck a perfect landing like a Romanian gymnast square on top of my skull. I screamed like an eleven year old girl and the creature leaped to the ground and scurried away.
   
   If this was some type of omen I would like to know what it means. Also, what is the deal with that squirrel anyway? Aren't they genetically programmed to never miss a branch? This squirrel clearly broke the contract of not touching man and I now need to reassess all assumptions regarding undomesticated animals free and on the loose...beginning with rats.

9. A Polish Prince

   19.Mar.07, 23:01 EDT
   
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   My family tree has been traced back to 18th century Poland but stops at a rather interesting fork in the roots. Apparently I am the decedent of either Polish nobility who once owned land and majestic castles near Warsaw or carry the namesake of a notorious band of horse thieves known for pillaging the countryside.
   
   As a believer in creating one's own destiny, I took it upon myself to trace the line left pointing toward the prong of the blue bloods and have been affectionately known to my friends as "the Polish Prince" ever since. Perception is reality after all!

10. Mayo or Mustard?

    16.Mar.07, 22:45 EDT
    
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    As an actor, I had very little talent which more or less limited my potential in that calling. I also had zero tolerance for working in the service industry which definitely sealed my fate as a full fledged thespian. The jobs I held to pay the rent back in my Second City improv days were many and included runner at the Chicago Board of Trade, bartender at Kelly's Pub and a six hour stint at Bigsby & Carruthers men's clothiers (I refused to fold the messed up sweater pile, a real no-no in retail).
    
    However, the proverbial writing hit the reality wall when I was forced to take a job at a Subway sandwich shop and was reprimanded daily for squeezing the mayo bottle with two hands instead of one, apparently disrupting the flow of the magical Subway sandwich assembly line and slowing down my co-workers. I walked off the job at Subway and literally out of acting one afternoon after being asked to the New Trier High School prom by a sweetheart young female student who had no clue the dude assembling her turkey sub (no mayo) was in fact a 23 year old struggling actor desperate for a cameo on Melrose Place.