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2008
- 02/29/08 Condos, A Pigeon's Best Friend. Really?
- 02/23/08 Taking A Break
- 02/21/08 Are Voters in Texas Dumb?
- 02/06/08 A Bird's Eye View of South Congress
2007
Polly, 11/08/07
Posts: 8
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Trans-Texas Corridor, Perry's Poop Pile
06.Apr.08, 11:22 EDT
Texas Governor Rick Perry is an environmental terrorist! That's what I said, a first class threat to the enviroment of Texas. This is nothing new, this revelation that Perry is threat to clean air, water, wildlife, and the health of Texas citizens . . . but his support for the Trans-Texas Corridor is clear proof that he could give a shit less about people. Like most republicans, money is the issue here . . . and maybe even more than that in terms of who gets what out of this deal.
Austin was busy yesterday with the famous Texas Relays, and with a car show up on south Congress, but there was also a march of concerned citizens about the Trans-Texas Corridor . . . toll roads, about 4,000 miles of them. Their concerns? These people are against the land grab by government which would take thousands of acres out of the hands of private citizens, and about the harm these toll roads will cause to the environment. And, they're opposed to the builders, a Spanish company called Cintra. I'm with those who protest this offering of prodigeous poop, this pile of crap Perry and his cohorts are trying to dump on Texas. But that figures. Perry and his boys have been piling crap on Texas for quite some time now.
Texas does have a problem with roads linking major cities. I-35 is getting to be impossible in places, and we need to do something to improve the system. But this toll road system the Perry Poopers are proposing and planning on building is not the answer. It is ill-conceived at many levels. You've got to ask yourself why we need to bring in a foreign contractor? You've got to ask why the roads need to be toll roads? You've got to ask if we really need that particular mode of transportation? I don't know how'll you'll ever build big roads without taking property from someone.
There's no easy solution to the problem of improving the road system of Texas. There's an easy solution to making sure you don't get ill-conceived plans, and that's to stop voting for the people giving them to you. If you think the proposal sucks, then vote against the folks who sponsored it and voted it in . . . and that means - GET RID OF THE REPUBLICANS! And if there's a few Democrats in there who support that system, vote against them too.
Polly, 4/06/08 -
Blue Dogs Still Top Dogs
05.Mar.08, 08:52 EST
My bird's eye view of yesterday's Democratic primary in Texas is this: Blue Dogs are still top dogs down here. If you're not familiar with the term, Blue Dog Democrats are conservatives. Yeah, most of the hard core conservatives went over to the Republican Party, but not all of them. In fact, lots of right leaning voters stayed with the Democratic Party, and yesterday's primary shows they're still the top dog.
Yellow Dog Democrats are the old line party members, the ones who act like real Democrats. This doesn't mean that a yeller-dogger, as there called down here, can't be conservative. Hillary represents more old line democratic princples than does Obama, or at least that's the way the true-blue dems see it around here. Obama's supporters are more visible, louder, and more attractive to the enlightened set . . . but they're also a minority. Young people, where much of Obama's support is found, made up only about 15 percent of voters yesterday.
Maybe what the Obama people need is a new breed down here called Red Ass Democrats - yeah, the ones who're so pissed off at Republicans for the mess they've made in government that they're screaming for big change. Hillary doesn't represent big change. So, maybe the message of the primary was that these moderate to right wing Demoracts just don't want a lot of change, just enough to get rid of Dubya and his band of bunglers.
Speaking of change, it appears that yesterday's wins for Hillary didn't do much to change the delegate vote count. Obama is still ahead. But it went a long way to shore up her support among the super delegates, and that's the Washington in-crowd bunch. When it gets right down to it, folks, that's what Hillary has that's working to her advantage now - the in-crowd, the set in place old line Democrats. That's going to be a hard nut for Obama to crack.
And, Oh, by the way. Johnny Bombemall won Texas on the Republican side. Yeah, the old man cruised to victory, but gave up 38 percent to Huckabee, the clown act. Now that ought to tell you how many rednecks are voting in this state . . . and all of 'em aren't voting as Republicans. Looks like Bubba's on the loose again in the Lone Star State.
Polly, 3/5/08 -
This Blog Post is rated Mature.
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Taking A Break
23.Feb.08, 09:10 EST
We're taking a break.
Last evening Obama spoke to a crowd of some twenty thousand people at the corner of 11th street and Congress in downtown Austin. That's home territory for us, a great place to bomb politicians. The thing is, we don't usually bomb Democrats, just the ones who've shown us that they're really just wolves in sheep's clothing. So, the squadron assembled yesterday, just in case we decided Obama needed a big blob pigeon bomp headed his way. Since he's darker than most candidates, a good pigeon bomb would sure show up good on him. But as it turned out, he did a good job of addressing the audience last night. And nothing we heard sounded like political plagiarism.
Plagiarism. Now there's a bomb of a word, isn't it? That's another of those catch phrase words that makes great sound bites . . . even when the word is misused like in Mrs. Clinton's use of the word in the debate a few days back. Plagiarism is when you actually steal something in writing, copy someone else's work. When it gets down to it, all politicians are plagiarists when it comes to statements on issues. And when it comes to mud slinging, there's only so much mud available. You can't expect a candidate to be fresh with everything they say and do.
When it comes to freshness, Obama has been kicking ass lately. Maybe that's what Mrs. Clinton was trying to cut down on, to slow the momentum Obama seems to have. Can she do it? Most experts are saying no, she can't, that Obama is a shoe-in. But Mrs. Clinton has surprised a lot of folks in the past, and maybe she's being counted out too soon. I don't like the nitpicking, the silly little things like the plagiarism charge, but . . . you know, you can talk about issues just so much. What really matters is who voters like the best, and that's usually a personal thing, not only with voters, but with candidates.
Polly, 2/23/08 -
Are Voters in Texas Dumb?
21.Feb.08, 09:54 EST
Texas is a state that loves to hold itself apart from others, likes to think of itself as special, above the average. And we are above the average in most things, even rank top or close to the top statistically in many categories. The problem is, some of these things we rank so high in aren't anything to brag about. In fact, we should hang our heads. And one of those rankings, literacy, has us right up close to the top - when it comes to not having it.
Finding exact statistics on where a state stands in terms of literacy isn't easy. The government collects those stats, mostly, and you know how they are about getting out information like that. Most stats are old by the time the government finally gets them published. But they still indicate how we were doing at a particular time. I can remember finding stats back in the 1990's showing that Texas ranked 48th in the nation in scores high school students made on college entrance tests. Yeah, damn near the bottom. That didn't surprise me, not in a state where football is more important than actually educating the kid. We spend lots of money down here on education and get wonderful football instead.
Texas ranks low in literacy, high in illiteracy - not a good mark for us. But it's not like we're really dragging the low end here, since many states are about in the same category. Over 20 percent of American adults can't read well enough to even read the label on a can, or fill out an employment form. That's right at 45 million people. And another 25 percent can read a little, but not enough to really do even moderate reading. In other words, they barely function, and that's another 50 million people you can put on the illiterate list. My God! That means nearly half of our adult population is illiterate to some degree.
That's a problem in lots of ways. What kind of workers will these people make? What can they do with their lives? And what kind of voters do they make? I'd just love it if I could jump to the conclusion that these folks voted for George Bush . . . but they didn't. In fact, most of them probably didn't vote for anybody. And if you're wondering why we can't get half of our voters to the polls most of the time, think about who's missing. And even if they did vote, what kind of voters would they make? We have some answers here, just from those who do vote, but we can't say for sure who benefits from their votes.
And does literacy really matter all that much? I've got friends with doctortes who vote like idiots . . . at least, in my opinion. I can't see how a reasonably intelligent person can vote for a conservative, for someone who's ideas are so outdated they belong in the previous century. Can't these people read and write? And then they turn around and go to the polls and vote the same way some Texas redneck votes - for Bush, or someone like him. On the other end of the political spectrum we have the highly intellectual dude with the doctorate, and he's voting for some liberal or left winger, the same as does some dock worker from San Francisco. Go figure, huh?
It's hard to say how smart or dumb the voter is, even here in Texas. I guess when it gets down to it, literacy doesn't have a lot to do with how we go about making fools of ourselves. Sometimes a moron casts a genius vote, and sometimes just the opposite is true. But I still believe in the saying that STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES. Sometimes literacy just doesn't translate into a smart decision in the voting booth.
Polly, 2/21/08 -
A Bird's Eye View of South Congress
06.Feb.08, 15:32 EST
South is up, if you're hanging out in Austin. Cross the bridge over Town Lake, head south, and you're going uphill toward an older and highly eclectic district of town. This is an area that's really bought into the highly touted Austin slogan of Keep Austin Weird. SoCo, as some locals are calling it, is damn sure weird . . . but weird in a good way, for the most part. This is where you find artsy/fartsy folks, the backbone of weirdness in the city.
I'm Polly Pigeon, political pundit and leader of a pack of pigeon poop bombers who've dedicated our lives to crapping on corruption, inequity, and skulduggery anywhere we find it. That means no part of town is off limits to us, but there's enough wrongdoing going on in downtown Austin to keep us busy. We stay plenty busy when the legislature is in session. Maybe you've heard of the Texas legislture, the most notorious congress of crapheads in America. Down here, we do stupid shit like redistrict the state's electoral districts just for shits and grins . . . and to make sure fewer Democrats make it to positions of power.
Yeah, this is Texas, home of such starlwart Republican crapheads like Tom Delay and Dick Armey, just to mention a few. They're out of office now, but we've always got plenty of dispshits willing and waiting to fill in where they left off. George W. Bush comes from here you know, and we've got a Governor just as bad. His name is Perry. He does dumb shit just like Dubya did, and he looks almost as good as Bush with a big splatter of pigeon poop on his head or shoulders.
But . . . we don't just poop on Republicans. Lots of Democrats deserve a good poop bomb - not because they're as sleazy as Republicans, but because they're pansy-asses who can't grow the cajones it takes to deal with those corporate criminals robbing us blind here in Texas. Yeah, I know, it's bad all over when it comes to getting screwed by corporate interest, but if you want to see that operation taken to a sure enough high level, come on down and check us out. We got a whole lot more jerks running around down here just like Dick Cheney, who managed to make Halliburton the biggest winner in the Iraqi war.
That's what's so neat about the south Congress district of Austin . . . the noticeable absence of prospective shitheads. There's just less to crap on up there, unless you find a politician who's snuck across the river to get a good meal at one of the many fine restaurants in the community. Lately, I've been seeing more and more indications that changes are coming that threaten not only the weirdness of the area, but the eclectic value as well. New condos, apartment buildings, and fancy townhouses are springing up there now . . . and that means the people who can afford to live in these expensive places are coming to. If there's anything that can ruin the weirdness of an area, that terrific eclecticism, it's a bunch of rich shits.
I've got a feeling us bomber pigeons will be flying over south Congress more in coming years.
Polly, 2/06/08 -
A Little Info on Pigeon Poop
01.Dec.07, 09:20 EST
Did you know that a single pigeon can produce 25 lbs. of poop in a year? Yep, it's a fact, and that means lots of little bombs to drop on deserving crooked politicians and their kind. There are about a million pigeons living in New York City, and the city fathers have recently passed an ordinance making it illegal to feed them. Speaking of a load of crap, there's a good one for you. It's a big city with something like seven million people. I wonder how much crap they produce? Are they going to quit feeding them? It seems to me that 25 million tons of pigeon poop would be a piddling amount to a New Yorker.
I also read where dog turds are getting to be a problem there in New York, and like lots of cities they have rules requiring dog owners to pick up the poop. It turns out that some don't, so they've still got lots of dog turds laying around, making some parts of the city the most likely place in the world to step in dog dookie. Like Forest Gump said, "It happens." And so shit does happen, folks, and like everybody else, pigeons need to poop. We're small, much smaller than a dog, and a whole lot smaller than a people person. So, get over it, would you? We're not creating near the mess you guys are.
And maybe you should consider the advantages of pigeon poop. Perhaps a recycling project would work . . . we poop, you fertilize with it. Better yet, you might take advantage our our skills as pigeon bombers. Yeah, New York surely has more pigeons than Washington, D.C., and from what I hear from our cousins up there, the Capitol pigeons are outnumbered these days.
That means there's more shitheads available than pigeons to accomodate them.
So, feed the pigeons and encourage them to fly down to Washington and do something good for the country. Crap on a shithead politicians and make the world happy.
Polly, 12/01/07 -
13th Page
08.Nov.07, 10:50 EST
This blog, the 13th page, is a space we reserve from important topics concerning mostly politics. It's about people and policies we plan to bomb the shit out of . . . and will. Wherever we find injustice, impropriety, or crookedness of any kind, we'll go after it. It's a judgment call, of course, based on what or who we think deserves a good pigeon bombing. Feel free to make suggestions, if you have someone or something in mind. Send us a note, and we'll check 'em out.
Polly, 11/08/07
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