Do not make an appointment to have your teeth cleaned

His name is Mark Kevin Anderson. He is a dentist in Woodland, California. Do not make an appointment to have your teeth cleaned. Do not stop by his office. And, most importantly, do not sit in his dentist chair. You see, Anderson is under investigation for several counts of sexual battery. Was he doing his job? Was he acting in a professional manner? Was he molesting his patients? That's what the prosecutors for Yolo County are investigating. According to the Oakland Tribune, 27 of Dr. Anderson's female patients are accusing him of sexual battery.

Sacramento's CBS 13 reports that Anderson is appealing to keep his license and continue to see patients during disciplinary proceedings. However, the Department of Consumer Affairs argues that letting Anderson practice is a danger and a risk to his patients. His lawyer, Robert Zaro, says that Anderson routinely massaged patients' chests to treat TMJ Syndrome. He also says that Anderson is the father of seven children and needs to keep working to feed them. Oh, and that if Anderson agrees to do no more "chest massages," and has two assistants supervising him with every patient, he should be allowed to continue working.

This case deserves to be torn apart by you and me, Reader. Let's go!

Reason #1
TMJ Syndrome is not relieved by chest massage. Temporal Mandibular Joint Syndrome involves only one muscle called the masseter, and its function is to chew food. That's it. It is located between the temple and the jaw. If you touched your own masseter muscle right now, your fingertips would be on your cheek. Notice that your hand is not touching your chest or your breasts.

Reason #2
Anderson's license should be suspended immediately. It doesn't matter that he has seven children. It doesn't matter if he was using his salary to feed the whole town of Woodland. He must not be allowed anywhere near a dentist chair.

Reason #3
Anderson's lawyer is pulling out the stops when he suggests that Anderson would be able to agree to change his obsession with "chest massages." That's not how it works, Attorney Zaro.

And one more thing ...
One of the victim's attorneys, Noel Ferris, told CBS 13: "I didn't hear, and we talked about this earlier, any male patients coming forward — because we suffer from TMJ, too. I haven't heard about any men having their chest massaged."

So, I think I've made myself clear on the subject, but what's your opinion, Reader? If you were administrative law judge Jonathan Lew, and you were deciding if Anderson should be able to resume business as usual, what would you do?

Juliana Luecking, aka Queen Juliana, is the MOLI View's contributing editor for Life & Love.