I'm not a woman, and a woman is not a bitch

Hello. My name is Dorothy Dalmation. (Woof.) I take my name from the Croatian province of Dalmatia, and I am a bitch. That last part means that I am a female dog. I'm not human, and no matter how many sexual harassment trials report that a woman is frequently misconstrued by a man as a "bitch," I will not tolerate the misnomer. I'm not a woman, and a woman is not a bitch. We are nothing alike. Lately, however, they keep confusing us. Let's crack open a box of dog biscuits, and I'll explain. (Woof-woof.)

There's been quite a controversy in court led by someone I admire very much, Anucha Browne Sanders. She just won a  sexual harassment suit against Madison Square Garden and Knicks coach Isiah Thomas. According to Breaking News, Sanders characterized Thomas as a foul-mouthed lout who initially berated her as a "bitch" and a "ho" before his anger gave way to ardor, with Thomas making unwanted advances and encouraging her to visit him "off site."

This hasn't been emphasized in the news much, but did you know that Sanders was a star basketball player at Northwestern University, was selected to the Big Ten three times, and was twice chosen as Big Ten Player of the Year? That's very impressive. She also holds the all-time records for scoring and rebounds in the conference, with an average of 30.5 points a game. (Unfortunately, women's professional basketball didn't exist then, and the WNBA started operations more than a decade after her graduation in 1985. Of course, if she had gotten the opportunity to play professionally, well, she could have been a bigger star than Isiah Thomas. By the way, he is known as one of the greatest "small men" ever to play professional basketball.)

Woof-woof. Did you know that Jennifer Berdahl, a professor at the Rotman School of Management, has written a provocative paper entitled "The Evolution of Harassment in the Workplace"? The Toronto Star reports that Berdahl shows that strong, outspoken women in male-dominated occupations — not gentle, deferential women in pink-collar jobs — are the most frequent targets of sexual harassment. Make no mistake, there is absolutely nothing romantic about it. Men who practice sexual harassment on the job not only make crude remarks and subject women to vulgar pranks, they also block women's career paths.

Sanders stood up to the abuse and won her case, but even though the suit against Isiah Thomas is costing Madison Square Garden about $12 million, Thomas remains employed. You'll see him on the court this season coaching the Knicks. I know, it's wrong, but it means he will be traveling to a town near you, so you must be prepared. Have a video camera ready at all times, and be aware  that men who harass women are hostile toward those who violate gender ideals. So, if you're a strong decisive woman, he may lash out at you.

If that happens, and he mistakes you for me (woof-woof) by calling you a "bitch," please consider one of the following responses (and be sure to keep the camera rolling):

1. "Mr. Thomas, help me understand. When you use a denigrating term toward me, does that mean that my intelligence intimidates you?"

2. "Oh, Mr. Thomas, take those words back and celebrate my power, my presence, and my potential."

3. "Oh Isiah, Isiah, what would your mother say?" (His mother's life story was dramatized in an NBC-TV movie, A Mother's Courage: The Mary Thomas Story. Alfre Woodard depicts the feisty mom who, when the Vice Lords street gang of Chicago's West Side came to recruit her sons, greeted them at the door with a shotgun.)

Woof. Woof-woof-woof!

Juliana Luecking, aka Queen Juliana, is the MOLI View's contributing editor for Life & Love.