I was going to write some long detailed post about exactly why
Christmas makes me homicidal. However, that has to wait until later
tonight.

Im sure by now most of you have heard the news that
Britney Spears younger, prettier and (amazingly) sluttier sister is
pregnant, at the ripe old age of 16. I'm not going to jump on the
bandwagon and judge her, she's getting enough of that already.

I am going to judge her parents.

They've
made some pretty questionable calls. Like letting their 16 year old
daughter live with her boyfriend. When I was 16, I was lucky to live in
the same zip code as anyone I was dating.  

The one question I think needs to be answered more than anything else is "Where is her father". 

And
I don't mean that in a "She's scared and needs her father" way. Or even
a "Where was he when this is going on" way. I mean it in more of a
"This mans 16 year old daughter is pregnant, why is he not on a cross
country ass kicking tour involving anyone whos ever looked at her"? kind of way.

If I ever walked into my house and said "Dad, Im pregnant" I am 98% sure it would end the following way.

My
father would fold up the newspaper he was reading, put it down and
calmly walk out the door. The next time I'd see him would be when the
local news featured him kicking the crap out of every single male in my
age range.  

I'll keep reading the tabloids. I don't care what
she's going to do with it. Or her plans. Or how scared she is. I'm
waiting for Poppa Spears to go on a long overdue rampage.  

Anyway, more on why Christmas makes me want to hang myself with tinsel later tonight, I just had to get that out of my system.