Just when you thought there weren't any old dance films left to turn into West End musicals, along comes Footloose. Following in the tightly choreographed footsteps of Fame, Dirty Dancing, and Saturday Night Fever, this small town, entirely-sung, sentimental cheese fest flops out of nowhere, all strutting side steps, scissor kicks, gyrating hips, and wind-milling arms.

Director and choreographer Karen Bruce has produced a show that is a syrupy, sloppy take on the '80s big screen hit. The toe-tapping film version of 1984, that starred a youthful Kevin Bacon, combined a winning cast and an outstanding soundtrack that featured some of the classics that defined the decade: "Holding Out for a Hero," "Almost Paradise," "Let's Hear It for the Boy," and, of course, the title Kenny Loggin’s track "Footloose."

Thankfully, the stage show has preserved the hits that became modern day anthems, as well as introducing some originals that aren't half bad. Even the dancers, who incorporate a mixture of ballet and modern moves, have boundless energy right up to the inevitable post-curtain dance encore that features a mega-mix reprise of the show's major songs. This finale I frankly could have done without, but that didn't stop the row of screaming 40-something housewives behind me from jumping up and giving their best Whitney Houston impressions.

The thin premise of the film remains the same: after his parents' divorce, city boy Ren McCormack is forced to move to Bible-belt backwater Bomont, a town where dancing is banned after a drunken accident claimed the lives of a carload of the town's teenagers. But, being the crazy cat that he is, he won't let small town prejudices ruin his fun, so he takes on the town's Reverend Moore (Julian Agnew), and throws a paaarty.

The preening, pouting, crowd-pleasing pap is not without its comic moments. Midway through, four male dancers in full Village People campery (a cowboy, a lifeguard, a sailor, and a fireman) execute one-handed press ups and slow-mo jogs to "Holding Out for a Hero." It is a priceless moment when the show doesn't mind milking its own naffness.

Ren is played with unpretentious charm by Tommy Sherlock, but the actor lacks the charisma and the rebellious edge that the role requires. He can dance, sure, but his voice is repeatedly flat and lacking in projection, while the second lead, Miria Parvin, boasts a strong voice, but is less convincing when it comes to shaking her pants.

Giovanni Spano and Gemma O'Duffy inject some fun into the show and provide superb support as Willard and Rusty, respectively. But through all of its comic moments, energetic fun, and good intentions, Footloose is just another watery remake chock full of mediocre performances, maudlin monologues, and clumsiness.

By Abbey Stirling/MOLI